The Trouble With Men
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SCENE: Closeup of a woman crying.
WOMAN: Men always seem perfect ‘til you get to know them...and sleep with their friends!
WOMAN: Men always seem perfect ‘til you get to know them...and sleep with their friends!
If He’s Perfect…
No Problemo? No Braino!
Are you unfazed by rejection and occasional gunfire? Do you collect restraining orders as a hobby? Are you saving your virginity until your true love admits that you exist?
Then you may be afflicted with the dreaded “Pepe Le Pew Syndrome!”
If so, please take a strong dose of reality and look out for skunks.
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WOMAN: No! Really! Stop asking me out! I’m gay!
MAN: Still? Well, no prob-lem-o! I’ll check back later!
MAN: Still? Well, no prob-lem-o! I’ll check back later!
Allergic to Men?
Sophisticated scientific studies (which I just made up) show that at least 100 percent of women* suffer from occasional bouts of male sickness. This disease now has a name (because I just made it up too): Male-o-pause!
If you have symptoms of Male-o-pause (itching, anxiety, breathing) see your doctor. There! Don’t you feel better?
*Do men suffer from Male-o-pause? Who knows? Attempts at research usually end in drunken brawls.
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SCENE: A woman with her head down and her hand to her forehead as if she's got a headache.
WOMAN: I’m allergic to men! They make me sick…when they’re not around!
WOMAN: I’m allergic to men! They make me sick…when they’re not around!
Sex for Nitwits
Order now. Operators are standing by. And they’re getting cranky!
↓ Transcript
SCENE: A young couple are kissing on a porch. Two identical books are on the porch steps.
HEADLINE TEXT: Are You a Failure at Fornication?
TEXT: A mating dropout? A loving loser?
Then you need the book that’s helped millions…beget more millions:
BOOK TITLE: Sex for Nitwits!
TEASER TEXT: --Learn about sex at home--alone!
--New edition with more pictures!
--Fewer big words!
--And! Shorter! Sentences!
TESTIMONIAL: “Sex for Nitwits changed my life!”
--Votta Von Tramp,
Last Kiss Home for Unwed Moms!
MAN (KISSING WOMAN): I bought two copies so I’d learn twice as much!
WOMAN: I bought three!
HEADLINE TEXT: Are You a Failure at Fornication?
TEXT: A mating dropout? A loving loser?
Then you need the book that’s helped millions…beget more millions:
BOOK TITLE: Sex for Nitwits!
TEASER TEXT: --Learn about sex at home--alone!
--New edition with more pictures!
--Fewer big words!
--And! Shorter! Sentences!
TESTIMONIAL: “Sex for Nitwits changed my life!”
--Votta Von Tramp,
Last Kiss Home for Unwed Moms!
MAN (KISSING WOMAN): I bought two copies so I’d learn twice as much!
WOMAN: I bought three!
