by John | May 27, 2014 | Blog
Art by Vince Colletta Studio from “His Future Bride” in BRIDES IN LOVE #10, 1958.
So, why does he need his secretary to stay?
—To make him a real man. (Some assembly required.)
—To organize and prioritize his porn collection.
—To sharpen his pencil. (He only has one.)
No, that can’t be right.
So, I’m taking suggestions. (And, let’s eliminate the obvious. “Dick-tation” doesn’t count.) The funniest, most original answer wins…my gratitude and the admiration of thousands!
Submit your ideas in the comments below.
Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.
by John | May 25, 2014 | Blog
Artist unknown from “Navy Bride” in G.I. War Brides #1, 1954.
So I’ve been at sea for 13 months (mostly without sex) and you think the first thing I want is dinner? Trust me, Sweetie, I haven’t been lying awake at nights dreaming of your cucumber salad.
Or even your meat loaf!
It’s you that I want. Delicious you!
Hmm. And, of course, a really good carrot cake—after (or even during) sex.
Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.
by John | May 22, 2014 | Blog
Art by Charles Nicholas & Sal Trapani from Brides in Love #10, 1958.
You be the bread and butter. I’ll be the jam. And maybe the pickle.
Bring napkins. This is going to be messy.
Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.
by John | May 20, 2014 | Blog
Art by Bill Ward from “Vengeance of Love” in Diary Loves #2, 1949.
Or maybe you could find him and punch his stupid face until he cries…louder than a little girl. (Well, louder than you anyway.)
But you’re too good for that aren’t you?
So, instead, you opt to be mature and sensible. And put dog poop in his heat vents.
Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.
by John | May 18, 2014 | Blog
Art by Bill Ward from “I Danced with Heartbreak” from Diary Loves #9, 1951.
Seriously, Claire. Sit down and soak your feet. And wear some flats next time. Although…they are sorta sexy. Not that I (or any men) care about that sort of thing.
Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.
by John | May 15, 2014 | Blog
Art by Bill Ward from “I Danced with Heartbreak” in Diary Loves #9.
I charge by the dance.
—$5 for a foxtrot.
—$10 for a boogie woogie.
—$200 for private “ballroom” dancing—on your lap.
Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.
by John | May 13, 2014 | Blog
Art by Alice Kirkpatrick & Bill Ward from Diary Loves #5, 1950.
The secret to eating at five-star restaurants? Dating men who can afford it!
So I now rate all men on a scale of one to five.
One Star: Ugh! Expects me to pay for everything—when he’s not at my placing mooching free meals.
Two Stars: Wants to split the bill with me at Arby’s.
Three Stars: Offers to pay, but only dines out when he has a coupon. Or when it’s his birthday and he can get a free meal at Denny’s.
Four Stars: Takes me to restaurants (with real cloth napkins!) that don’t give me food poisoning—most of the time.
Five Stars: Five-star restaurants? Wine bottles with real corks? Fancy condom dispensers in the Ladies Room? I’m yours!
Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.
by John | May 11, 2014 | Blog
Art by John Tartaglione from “Dear Jilted” in Brides in Love #8, 1958.
Welcome to “the Most Boring Swinger’s Party of All Time!”
The schedule:
8-9 p.m.: Polite conversation about the weather.
9-10 p.m.: Tell a slightly dirty joke. Then apologize to your date. Apologize again. Keep apologizing—because really, it wasn’t that funny!
10-midnight: Dancing. Hands above the waist, young man!
12-12:30 a.m.: Thank the host and say goodbye. Then flee!!!
12:30-12:33 a.m.: Get in your car, buckle up and give your date a quick kiss. Then maybe another one.
12:33-12:34 a.m.: Sex. Orgasm optional.
Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.
by John | May 8, 2014 | Blog
Art by Bill Ward from Diary Loves #9, 1951.
Please teach my husband the proper moves. I don’t want him making any awkward, painful mistakes during our honeymoon. And, while you’re at it, teach him to dance too!
Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.
by John | May 6, 2014 | Blog
Artist unknown. From “My Kisses Were Cheap” in DIARY LOVES #5, 1950.
Ladies, are you having trouble finding a mate? Perhaps that’s because you’ve limited yourself to humans.
There are plenty of attractive alien creatures who’d be tickled pink (and many other colors) to date an Earth female who’s more or less humanoid—like you!!!
Remember all those old sci-fi movies from the 1950s? They were actually documentaries. Mars really does want women from Earth. And so do the gents from Jupiter, Saturn and Pluto—which is a planet damn it.!
(TIP: Men from Pluto tend to overcompensate for their planetary failings by spending obscene amounts of money on their dates. Act now while they’re still feeling humiliated!)
So signup today for the Last Kiss Interplanetary Dating Service and receive a free vaccination for Venusian Venereal Disease!
Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the revamped version of this art and with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.
