No, wearing a scarf doesn’t mean you’re gay. It means you…uh, want to be a cowboy. That’s it. I mean–John Wayne wore scarves…or at least bandanas. Manly bandanas! Spit-in-your-eye, tough-guy bandanas!
So there you go! If you’re not wearing a bandana chances are…you’re gay!
“It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”
—Mark Twain
Remember, kids! Getting turned on by fruit, vegetables or small household appliances doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. But we’ll punish you anyway–just to play it safe!
Cute family nicknames are fun. After all, anyone can have an Uncle Fred. (I mean it. We’re giving ours away.)
But how many of you have an Uncle Stink Face? Ah hah! He sounds more interesting now–right? Suddenly, you want him.
(And you’re in luck! We’re still giving him away. Call now while supplies last and we’ll throw in Cousin Edwin or as we affectionately call him–That Sneaky Little Pervert.)
In my previous comic, I had a couple getting married. It was (for me) an unusually sweet moment.
But today? Ack! We’re wallowing in the worst of wedded woes!
What can I say? Romantic comedy is a brutal business.
