Getting Her Jollies

Getting Her Jollies

Merry Christmas–if you celebrate Christmas. And if you don’t–go celebrate something else!

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Woman lying in bed with her eyes closed in contentment.

WOMAN: Golly, Santa! After that…who wouldn’t be jolly?

TEXT BOX: Merry Christmas!

The World’s Sexiest Santa Hat?

The World’s Sexiest Santa Hat?

Before anyone can ask, I’ll confess the obvious. Unlike almost all Last Kiss comics, this piece isn’t a revamp of old romance comic art.

Colorist extraordinaire Allen Freeman penciled and inked this one himself.

And all I can say is–wow!

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Beautiful, smiling woman wearing a Santa hat and sexy corset and underwear.

WOMAN: Really? You think the hat’s sexy?

WOMAN (again): Wait’ll you see me...in the coat and pants!

Art and color by Allen Freeman

Imaginary Sex

Imaginary Sex

Sure…as long as I can pretend you’re someone else.

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Woman looking back at someone.

WOMAN: Would it help if I pretended to enjoy sex?

And Now, a Word from the Woman on the Street…

And Now, a Word from the Woman on the Street…

Before you criticize anyone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, if they get angry, they’re a mile away and barefoot.

–Anonymous

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Woman on the street in high heels.

WOMAN: The real crime isn’t streetwalking! It's these [comic book swearing] high heels!

H-H-Holey Condoms

H-H-Holey Condoms

Now the average reader might respond to this comic by saying something like:

1. You idiot! You’ve misspelled “Holy.”

But you’ve figured out that this alternative spelling is a pun. And maybe it isn’t that funny to most people. But you’re the exception and think it’s hilarious.

2. “Hey, wait a minute!” protests the average reader. “If she’s having sex, how come she’s dressed? And how come she’s standing or at least sitting up?”

Fortunately, you’ve figured out that the earthquake has thrown her off the bed and her clothes (which were also airborne) landed on her.

There! Aren’t you glad you didn’t have to ask?

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Woman looks startled and appears to be shaking.

WOMAN: H-h-holey condoms! You’re
n-not a great lover! We’re just having
an earth-Q-Q-quake!

Art by Dick Giordano

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