by John | Nov 19, 2009 | Uncategorized
Other questions you don’t have to answer…
–Are you just happy to see me or is that a single-shot, 40-mm grenade launcher in your pocket?
–If God is your copilot, who are the flight attendants and why haven’t they brought us drinks by now?
–Are you sure the sky is blue? Really? You think that’s blue? Have you ever considered that “blue” might just be what “they” want you to think it is?
–Do you feel “blue” now? Are you sure you don’t feel red instead?
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A tense, young woman stands over a bed looking down at another woman on the bed who's swooning happily.
TENSE WOMAN STANDING: Straight or gay? You have to decide!
HAPPY WOMAN ON BED: Oh, shut up and let me be happy!
by John | Oct 11, 2009 | Uncategorized
I’m hoping for tails–for both their sakes!
↓ TranscriptSCENE: In foreground a man's hand flips a coin in the air. Watching in the background is a concerned, young woman.
MAN: Heads I marry you! Tails I admit I’m gay...and you bravely try to forget me!
WOMAN: You know...I think I've already forgotten!
by John | Jul 10, 2009 | Uncategorized
Years ago, a gay fan encouraged me to write some gay Last Kiss gags. Since I’m straight, I had to really think about what it meant to be gay. Not the physical stuff. The emotional.
I quickly realized that the whole idea of people choosing to be gay was nonsense. First of all, sexual urges are pretty much hard-wired into people. I didn’t choose to be attracted to women (although I sure encouraged women to be attracted to me.) It was just this overwhelming attraction that blindsided me at puberty.
So for someone to “choose” against those urges–and to buck everything in our society (plus parents) that expected us to team up with the opposite sex–well, that would be incredibly difficult. Therefore, being gay had to be tough. So…it takes a “real man” to be gay. Unless, of course, you’re a “real woman.”
This comic now available in German.
↓ TranscriptWOMAN: What makes you so tough? So incredibly manly?
MAN: I'm gay!
CAPTION: Remember, kids! It takes a real man to be gay!
by John | Apr 6, 2009 | Uncategorized
↓ TranscriptPOLICEMAN (to nurse): I’m looking for A beautiful woman...with lush lips and a tattoo on her tush that says, “Kiss me, you fool!”
NURSE: Gosh! Who isn’t?
by John | Mar 27, 2009 | Uncategorized
It’s always nice when someone makes that little extra effort for your birthday!
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Man enters a room and finds three young men tied up.
TIED UP GUY #1: Surprise!
MAN ENTERING ROOM: For me? Gosh! And I thought you forgot my birthday!
TIED UP GUY #2 (thinks): Oh, boy! I hope he unwraps me first!
