by John | Sep 9, 2009 | Uncategorized
I’m not sure if shopping qualifies as a super power. But I suspect you have to enjoy it to do it well. I don’t…unless, of course, it involves buying comics…or books…or DVDs…or cool electronic gizmos that I can’t afford. But that’s not really shopping. That’s, uh…male bonding.
↓ TranscriptPANEL 1
SCENE: Young woman is in bed alone crying.
CAPTION: After accidentally destroying a super mall while bargain hunting, Glamour Gal is kicked out of The League of Superior Shoppers! Stripped of her League credit card, Glamour Gal loses her reason for living...at first!
WOMAN (thinks): My credit rating’s lower than a snake’s hip huggers! There’s only one thing left for me to do! I’ll fake my own death...
PANEL 2
SCENE: Woman cries as she packs her clothes into a suitcase.
WOMAN (thinks): ...and pretend I’m my twin sister! Then I’ll apply for new credit cards! It’s either that…or >Gulp< wear clothes off the rack!
CAPTION: Bad credit? Try Last Kiss! We’ll loan money to anyone—even if you’re dead!
by John | Sep 7, 2009 | Uncategorized
In honor of last week’s big, big news (Disney bought Marvel Comics) I’m running a couple of comic book-themed Last Kisses this week.
This is a strange turn of events for most die-hard comic fans. I know some people are afraid that Disney will try to “Disneyfy” Marvel–making everything G-rated and warm and fuzzy. But that’s not going to happen. I’m sure Disney wants Marvel’s harder edge and older, male-dominated demographic.
But we’ll see. In the meantime, I’m not going to “Hulk out” over it–especially since I own a bit of Marvel stock and it shot up 25 percent in one day. Nope. I’m not going to complain at all.
Transcript:
CAPTION: My love life stunk Like a dead skunk on
a hot tin roof! But then I discovered a new brand of perfume…
CAPTION 2: Essence of Old Comic Books!
CAPTION 3: And suddenly…there was romance in the air!
MAN (to woman): Gosh! Every time we kiss i think of a scintillating, superhero slugfest from the sizzling sixties!
WOMAN: I never dreamed smelling like moldy paper could be so…exciting!
CAPTION 4: Essence of Old Comic BooksTM — now availabe with extra mildew!
Art by Dick Giordano with possible assist by Vince Colletta. from the story “Letter from Long Ago” in FIRST KISS #6, 1958.
Art Code 6.1.7.2
↓ TranscriptCAPTION: My love life stunk Like a dead skunk on
a hot tin roof! But then I discovered a new brand of perfume...
CAPTION 2: Essence of Old Comic Books!
CAPTION 3: And suddenly...there was romance in the air!
MAN (to woman): Gosh! Every time we kiss i think of a scintillating, superhero slugfest from the sizzling sixties!
WOMAN: I never dreamed smelling like moldy paper could be so...exciting!
CAPTION 4: Essence of Old Comic BooksTM -- now availabe with extra mildew!
Art by Dick Giordano with possible assist by Vince Colletta. from the story "Letter from Long Ago" in FIRST KISS #6, 1958.
Art Code 6.1.7.2
by John | Sep 4, 2009 | Uncategorized
And don’t feel obligated to pay me for sex either…
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A man is giving a woman a present.
MAN: I accidentally left the price tag on! Don’t look or you’ll see that it costs a fortune!
MAN (again): And don’t feel you have to sleep with me either!
by John | Sep 2, 2009 | Uncategorized
Oops! It’s always embarrassing when you can’t remember the name of the person you slept with. Of course, that’s what name badges are for…
This episode now available in German.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Young woman without a shirt (but wearing a bra) adjusts her hair in front of a mirror. Behind her, a second young woman (in a ) looks on.
WOMAN #1: Gee! We haven’t had a sleepover since the night you and Bob broke up!
WOMAN #2: I didn’t sleep over that night!
WOMAN #1 (again): Really? I’m sure I slept with one of you
by John | Aug 31, 2009 | Uncategorized
Ideally, this should be read while listening to “I Can Make You A Man” from The Rocky Horror Picture Show…
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A man and a woman are smiling as they cuddle.
WOMAN: Congrats! Today you became a man!
MAN: And tomorrow I’ll be...?
WOMAN (again): Lost... without me!
