by John | Sep 23, 2009 | Uncategorized
Dear Mr. Last Kiss:
I’m a philosophy major (It’s not like there are any jobs out there anyway!) and it’s really hard because I have to think a lot. And here’s one of the things I thought about: If a tree falls in a forest and you make love in the bushes and no one’s around can you still pretend you’re a virgin?
I can’t decide. What do you think?
–Slightly Pregnant
Dear Slightly,
You can always pretend you’re a virgin–especially in forests. Some forests are better than others, however. Virgin forest are best. And they’re easy to spot. They’re the ones with unicorns.
–Mr. Last Kiss
Sprechen Sie Deutsch? To read this comic in German click here.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Father and young adult daughter hug as the daughter's date waits in the background.
FATHER: Have fun, but remember! If you have sex you’ll regret it forever!
DAUGHTER: Sure! But only if you find out!
by John | Sep 21, 2009 | Uncategorized
If I had to guess, I’d say she’s not a morning person…
Sprechen Sie Deutsch? Read this comic in German.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Woman is about to drink some hot coffee.
PANEL 1:
WOMAN (thinks): Everyone knows I’m the world’s nicest, person...
SOUND (from off panel): GROAN
PANEL 2:
WOMAN (thinks): unless you bother me before my first cup!
VOICE (from off panel): So much blood!
FK33.3.7.5
by John | Sep 18, 2009 | Uncategorized
Do I need to explain that this is just a joke? And that no babies, moms, or imaginary animals were harmed, traumatized or sexualized in the making of this comic? No? Good!
This comic is now available in German.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Smiling mom with smiling baby.
MOM: Guess what? It's time to breast feed!
BABY: Oedipus complex by damned! I'm in love!
by John | Sep 16, 2009 | Uncategorized
Family pride is a beautiful thing!
Also funny (maybe funnier) in German.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A young woman smiles as she talks to her dad.
WOMAN: Good news, Dad! I broke mom’s record! I’ve been
in college a full week! And I’m still not pregnant!
by John | Sep 13, 2009 | Uncategorized
Yes, having a baby is a smart career move. Blog, baby! Blog! If you can stay awake between feedings and diaper changes, you’ll have an endless source of cute stories to tell. Or you could just get a cat and achieve the same thing.
This comic is also available (and funny) in German.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A woman has just given birth. A nurse or doctor holds the baby as the woman looks on and smiles.
MOTHER OF BABY: At last, I’ll have something to blog about!
