by John | Nov 24, 2009 | Uncategorized
Fortunately (for everyone’s sake) I’m not expected to cook this Thanksgiving. So there’s much to be thankful for right there. No food poisoning this year. No need for anti-acids. No desperate three-legged, relay races (Don’t ask!) to the bathroom.
Just family, friends, fun and honestly good (as in tasty and digestible) food.
I hope you and your family enjoy the same!
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A very alarmed woman reacts to some bad news.
WOMAN: Oh, no! You expect me to cook!
by John | Nov 22, 2009 | Uncategorized
I can’t take full credit (or blame) for today’s comic. The heavy boobs gag was suggested by my wife (Shelagh.) I noodled with the wording a bit and added the line from the helpful guy in the background, but the basic, uh…thrust of the gag is all hers.
Sprechen Sie Deutsch? To read this comic in German click here.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Woman with her eyes closed and her head and arms resting on a desk. A man walks through a doorway in the background.
WOMAN: Gravity attack! My boobs are...so heavy! Need help…fast!
MAN (singing): Here I come to save the day!
by John | Nov 19, 2009 | Uncategorized
Other questions you don’t have to answer…
–Are you just happy to see me or is that a single-shot, 40-mm grenade launcher in your pocket?
–If God is your copilot, who are the flight attendants and why haven’t they brought us drinks by now?
–Are you sure the sky is blue? Really? You think that’s blue? Have you ever considered that “blue” might just be what “they” want you to think it is?
–Do you feel “blue” now? Are you sure you don’t feel red instead?
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A tense, young woman stands over a bed looking down at another woman on the bed who's swooning happily.
TENSE WOMAN STANDING: Straight or gay? You have to decide!
HAPPY WOMAN ON BED: Oh, shut up and let me be happy!
by John | Nov 17, 2009 | Uncategorized
Every once in awhile, I try to write something that’s both funny and sweet. This was supposed to be one of those. I got the sweet part right away with the woman’s dialog. But when it came to the man’s dialog–apparently my brain was invaded by male aliens from the planet MaleJerk. I hope to have my brain back and functioning at normal testosterone levels soon. Otherwise, Friday’s comic could be…deadly!
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Middle-aged man and woman stand in the doorway, looking out at a young couple who are kissing.
OLDER WOMAN: Young love is sweet! But our love is like a vintage
wine!
OLDER MAN (thinking): Hmmm...time to open a new bottle!
by John | Nov 15, 2009 | Uncategorized
Such beauty brings strife!
Quick! Run for your life!
Beware! Don’t stare!
Too late! Here comes your wife!
↓ TranscriptBEAUTIFUL WOMAN: Look out! I’m beautiful…and I’m not
afraid to use it!
