Sob Queen

Sob Queen

I love this art. Why? Because it’s subtle and understated–just like all my humor…

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SCENE: Woman crying--hard!!

WOMAN: Oh, don't mind me! I'm just in love!

Time for…a Drink?

Time for…a Drink?

No time to think. No time to drink. Well, maybe I’ll have just one…

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SCENE: Woman appears to have a headache or at least be having a really bad day!

WOMAN: If I had time for a drink…I wouldn’t need one so much!

If Life’s a Journey…

If Life’s a Journey…

Of course, everyone must have their own version of this “If life’s a journey” theme. After extensive thought (for almost 10 seconds) here’s mine:

If life’s a journey, I want to travel first class with a plane full of comic cheerleaders. (Instead of cheering for sports teams, they’d cheer for comic creators.) Their hobbies would include giving massages, jumping jacks and chess.

What’s your version of “If life’s a journey?”

Post your ideas here in the comments section below this comic. Have fun, but keep your remarks relatively clean–PG13 or at least a soft R-rated–because…hey, you never know. Your mom might read this.

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SCENE: Woman at airport. She's just exited a plane.

WOMAN: If life’s a journey, I want a better seat…and free cocktails!

I’m Here! Lucky You!

I’m Here! Lucky You!

No, this isn’t a leftover costume from Halloween. Mary MeeKwick dresses up for every occasion. Dining out. Cleaning the toilet. Robbing banks. She’s always a vision of loveliness…

Sprechen Sie Deutsch? To read this comic in German click here.

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SCENE: Woman in long, flowing red, cocktail dress smiles and gestures dramatically.

WOMAN: I'm here! Let the drooling and flattery begin!

The Scariest Halloween Movie Of All

The Scariest Halloween Movie Of All

Boo!

I just got back from seeing a truly rotten zombie movie. (Rotten in a good way, of course, as all zombie movies should be.)

Apparently the secret to enjoying a truly rotten zombie movie (in this case “The Children” from 1980) is to have a really stiff drink and to watch it with a bunch of other people who have really stiff drinks in a movie theater rented out for the evening.

It helps greatly if the zombies are cute radioactive children who literally hug people to death. (Sizzle. Argggh!)

Audience participation is another plus. Best audience commentary of the night: “Hugs! Not drugs!”

Runner up: “You just shot a dead dog.”

My thanks to my pal Mark Rahner and film critic Robert Horton for hosting a truly rotten evening. By the way, the name of their wild west zombie comic book is…”Rotten.” And, yes, it’s “rotten” in a good way too.

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SCENE: Exterior of a passenger jet in flight.

CAPTION: Just in time for Halloween! A movie so scary, you’ll pee in your seat! Honest...

CAPTION: “Cross My Legs...and hope to die!”

VOICE #1 FROM INSIDE PLANE: The restrooms are out of order? All of them?

VOICE #1 FROM INSIDE PLANE: B-b-but I‘m on a liquid diet!

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