by John | Feb 4, 2010 | Uncategorized
Run!!!!
I don’t always know who my characters are. But this fearsome mom is different. Many thanks to fan Torsten Adair who came up with the following name and bio:
Gertrude P. Thornsucker. (The P stands for Patricia.) Thornsucker is her maiden name.
She was once the CEO of Amalgamated Feminine Industries. The company was merged with Sweet & Pink, Inc, at which time she retired as CEO and took a seat on the Board of Directors.
In her spare time, she does needlepoint of stock certificates (highly sought after on Wall Street) while listening to Bloomberg Radio. She is a championship Bridge player, once beating the pair of Bill Gates and Warren Buffett. (Warren mowed her lawn, Bill designed her MySpace page.)
(more…)
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A young woman is holding a phone to her ear. Her mother is next to her and is lecturing her.
MOTHER: …and tell your father to hurry! I’ve either got gas…or I’m horny!
DAUGHTER: Either way, as soon as I hang up--I’m outta here!
by John | Feb 2, 2010 | Uncategorized
Listen to your mother. She knows…
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Woman with her hands on the site of her face on bed or couch. She looks sad.
WOMAN (thinks): Mom was right! If you don’t charge men for the first lap dance...they never respect you!
by John | Jan 31, 2010 | Uncategorized
Lucky me. Not only did Orson Scott Card create a caption for the current writing contest (submit through Feb. 5, 2010), he also wrote the dialog for today’s comic.
Frankly, I love it. (If Charles Addams did romance comics I’d like to think they’d be like this.)
Orson actually wrote captions for a number of other Last Kiss panels. I’m just trying to figuring out the best time and format to use them. As I said before…lucky me.
↓ TranscriptSpecial guest writer: Orson Scott Card
Scene: Grim-faced man in the foreground; woman behind him over his shoulder, looking worried.
WOMAN: But you said if I sacrificed my conjoined twin...you'd
love me forever!
MAN: I wasn't talking to you!
by John | Jan 28, 2010 | Uncategorized
Today’s comic was written by “June” who entered one of my recent writing contests and won in a close vote by readers. How close? One vote! See? Voting matters…at least when it comes to selecting what (or whom) you’re going to laugh about!
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A woman enters the room through a doorway. In the foreground (with his back to us) a man watches her enter.
MAN: I told you to stay out of my closet!
WOMAN: And I told YOU that you can’t be...prettier than me when we go out!
by John | Jan 26, 2010 | Uncategorized
In an odd way this reminds me of my grandmother. My mother’s mother wasn’t always sure where she was going, but she was in a hurry to get there.
She was always first in line. First on the bus. First off. And first to squirm around you, push past you and reach any door.
Maybe that was because she lived through the Depression and learned that not being first in line was a sure way to end up hungry. Or maybe she was just leading the way…
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Determined woman driving a jeep honks her horn:
WOMAN: I’m on my way to the future! Get in...or get out of my way!
