by John | Feb 15, 2010 | Uncategorized
Congratulations to winner Gordon Pyke (and to everyone who took part in the contest.)
Second Place honors went to Jeff Willis for his submission: MAN: I feel faint. WOMAN: You should put your head between my knees.
Third Place bragging rights went to Gale Grove for the following dialog: MAN (thinking): I knew that she was a real women when she opened the beer with her tongue.
Special thanks to Orson Scott Card for writing the opening caption and setting the scene for the contest comic.
There were lots of great submissions that didn’t win prizes, but that are well worth reading. Some of my favorites are here.
↓ TranscriptCaption by Orson Scott Card
Dialog by Gordon Pyke
SCENE: A man and woman are picnicking below a tree. The man is on his back and has his head is in the woman's lap. He's holding a beverage in one hand. The woman smiles and looks down at him.
CAPTION: She knew he was a real man when he fell out of the tree without dropping his beer.
WOMAN: I guess climbing trees isn’t your thing, honey! Why don’t you try something easier…like me?
by John | Feb 11, 2010 | Uncategorized
Sprechen Sie Deutsch? To read this comic in German click here.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A beautiful woman cries and stares at a letter carrier as he takes some mail out of a box and looks back at her.
WOMAN: B-but you must have at least one valentine for me! I've slept with every man in town!
MALE LETTER CARRIER: Well...uh, not every man!
by John | Feb 9, 2010 | Uncategorized
So maybe he can afford to date her–for now. But what happens if things get serious? Even at half price, could he afford the honeymoon?
Sprechen Sie Deutsch? To read this comic in German click here.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Man holds crying woman.
MAN: Sorry, but I'm dumping you for my therapist! She's blonde, beautiful and best of all...she's only charging me half price for tonight's date!
WOMAN: You fool! Now you'll never get out of therapy!
by John | Feb 6, 2010 | Uncategorized
Sprechen Sie Deutsch? To read this comic in German click here.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A surprise party. Young woman hugs a man as friends celebrate around them. There's a birthday cake on a table in front of them.
WOMAN: What a wonderful surprise! How did you keep it a secret?
MAN: Easy! I just lied to you…like usual!
SECOND WOMAN (looking on): GEE! I wish someone would lie to me!
by John | Feb 4, 2010 | Uncategorized
Run!!!!
I don’t always know who my characters are. But this fearsome mom is different. Many thanks to fan Torsten Adair who came up with the following name and bio:
Gertrude P. Thornsucker. (The P stands for Patricia.) Thornsucker is her maiden name.
She was once the CEO of Amalgamated Feminine Industries. The company was merged with Sweet & Pink, Inc, at which time she retired as CEO and took a seat on the Board of Directors.
In her spare time, she does needlepoint of stock certificates (highly sought after on Wall Street) while listening to Bloomberg Radio. She is a championship Bridge player, once beating the pair of Bill Gates and Warren Buffett. (Warren mowed her lawn, Bill designed her MySpace page.)
(more…)
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A young woman is holding a phone to her ear. Her mother is next to her and is lecturing her.
MOTHER: …and tell your father to hurry! I’ve either got gas…or I’m horny!
DAUGHTER: Either way, as soon as I hang up--I’m outta here!
