Family (Sorta) Planning!
It’s not like it’s a big commitment or anything…
↓ Transcript
WOMAN: I misplaced my dog! And my guppies flushed themselves down the drain!
WOMAN: But…sure! Let's have kids!
WOMAN: But…sure! Let's have kids!
Queen of the Worrywarts!
Her motto: Things are never so good that they can’t get worse.
↓ Transcript
WOMAN (crying): I just won $10 million in the lottery...again! And today’s
a national holiday in my honor! But I just know something will go wrong... someday!
a national holiday in my honor! But I just know something will go wrong... someday!
Tattoo Adieu!
In the coming years, I expect a lot of women are going to dump this guy. I hope his chest is big enough to list all of ’em!
↓ Transcript
SCENE: Man and woman speaking.
MAN: I had your name tattooed on my chest!
WOMAN: Cool! So we’ll be together forever--even after I dump you!
MAN: I had your name tattooed on my chest!
WOMAN: Cool! So we’ll be together forever--even after I dump you!
Bad Girl, Good Time!
How bad do you have to be to get out of prison 20 years early? Bad enough to be sent back to prison–if you’re caught!
↓ Transcript
Man opens door and finds another man and a woman embracing.
MAN (in doorway): But, Warden, you can't let her go! She's still got 20 years to go on her
sentence!
WOMAN: I'm getting time off...for bad behavior!
MAN (in doorway): But, Warden, you can't let her go! She's still got 20 years to go on her
sentence!
WOMAN: I'm getting time off...for bad behavior!
Sex for Nitwits
Order now. Operators are standing by. And they’re getting cranky!
↓ Transcript
SCENE: A young couple are kissing on a porch. Two identical books are on the porch steps.
HEADLINE TEXT: Are You a Failure at Fornication?
TEXT: A mating dropout? A loving loser?
Then you need the book that’s helped millions…beget more millions:
BOOK TITLE: Sex for Nitwits!
TEASER TEXT: --Learn about sex at home--alone!
--New edition with more pictures!
--Fewer big words!
--And! Shorter! Sentences!
TESTIMONIAL: “Sex for Nitwits changed my life!”
--Votta Von Tramp,
Last Kiss Home for Unwed Moms!
MAN (KISSING WOMAN): I bought two copies so I’d learn twice as much!
WOMAN: I bought three!
HEADLINE TEXT: Are You a Failure at Fornication?
TEXT: A mating dropout? A loving loser?
Then you need the book that’s helped millions…beget more millions:
BOOK TITLE: Sex for Nitwits!
TEASER TEXT: --Learn about sex at home--alone!
--New edition with more pictures!
--Fewer big words!
--And! Shorter! Sentences!
TESTIMONIAL: “Sex for Nitwits changed my life!”
--Votta Von Tramp,
Last Kiss Home for Unwed Moms!
MAN (KISSING WOMAN): I bought two copies so I’d learn twice as much!
WOMAN: I bought three!
