How Old Should I Be?

How Old Should I Be?

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SCENE: Man is about to buy a ticked at the ticket booth of a movie theater.

MAN: Sure I’m a student! But I could
be a senior citizen...if that’s cheaper!

Art: Charles Nicholas & Vince Alascia

Job Interview—Passed!

Job Interview—Passed!

I think if you’re office has deep purple walls, it’s a pretty good tip that something funny is going on.

Kissing? Sure, why not?

I mean, you’d have to keep your eyes shut just to keep from going blind or crazy in that room. So you might as well be kissing while you’re in there with your eyes closed!

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SCENE: A woman opens an office door and finds another woman and a man kissing passionately.

WOMAN (opening door): Oh, dear!
I see you’ve already picked
a secretary!

Art by Vince Colletta Studio

One Kiss, Two Questions!

One Kiss, Two Questions!

In comic books, sometimes people just kiss.

But more often they think and kiss at the same time. They think about whether they’re kissing the right person. They think about whether they can pay the rent; pass their math test; or even conquer the universe.

Now maybe you do all those things when you kiss, but I don’t. Not if it’s a really good kiss.

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SCENE: Man and woman kissing on a tropical beach.

WOMAN (thinking): Is he the boy I'll love...forever?

MAN (thinking): Is she the girl who proves...I'm gay...forever?

Art by Vince Colletta Studio

Star Trekked?

Star Trekked?

In my comments here, I originally joked that this guy was probably in a hurry to get to his job as a marriage counselor. But–what do I know?

I’ve been bombarded by e-mails and Facebook comments that this man is obviously Captain James T. Kirk and that he’s rushing back to the starship Enterprise.

So I wrote a Star Trek joke–without realizing it? Okay. The guy does kinda look like Kirk. But–oh, uh, last night when I first posted this was William Shatner’s 80’s birthday?

Okay. I bow to the obvious. I’m more brilliant than I thought. This is a Star Trek joke!

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SCENE: Man walking away from a woman.

MAN: I don’t have time to apologize! Just send yourself some flowers and bill me!

Penciller unknown Re-inked and colored by Allen Freeman

‘Til Kaboom Do Us Part!

‘Til Kaboom Do Us Part!

So there I was at Denny’s with a bunch of friends after a Cartoonists Northwest meeting.  And–while clogging our arteries—some of us are joking around. Now, not all cartoonists are funny in person.

(I’m only intermittently funny at best—and even then you have to buy me dinner to get a decent joke.)

But my pal Moira McDonough (creator of the graphic novel Venus Penvy) is genuinely witty in “real life.” Still, I was taken off guard when she quipped about “a marriage of mass destruction.”

I loved the line. I hope you do too. Thanks, Moira!

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SCENE: Woman and man embracing. The woman is upset and he seems to be comforting her.

WOMAN: It’s a marriage of mass destruction!

Guest Gag: Moira McDonough

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