by John | May 15, 2011 | Uncategorized
I think “Holy hooters” is now my favorite exclamation. I can’t wait to use it in real life. I’m sure it’ll come in handy one of these days:
“Holy hooters, Reverend! It’s a pleasure to meet you!”
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Two startled men looking at someone who is off panel.
MAN #1: Holy Hooters!
What will our readers say when they see that beautiful naked woman?
MAN: #2:My guess?
That Lustig needs to make these comics wider!
Art by Dick Giordano & Vince Alascia
by John | May 12, 2011 | Uncategorized
On the other hand, you can trust me completely. Why? Because I said so!
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Two women in a powder room. One is putting on lipstick
WOMAN: I’d like to trust you, but you remind me too much of me!
Art by Vince Colletta Studio
by John | May 10, 2011 | Uncategorized
Madame Colet: Marriage is a beautiful mistake which two people make together.
Madame Colet (continues): But with you, Francois–I think it would be a mistake.
From my favorite movie–Ernst Lubitch’s Trouble in Paradise. Screenplay by Samson Raphaelson.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A woman kisses a man on his cheek. He arches a brow and looks at her with bemusement.
WOMAN: I know! Let’s pretend we’re happily married!
MAN: To each other?
Art by Dick Giordano
by John | May 8, 2011 | Uncategorized
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Bride and groom kissing.
BRIDE: So far so good!
Art by Vince Colleta Studio
by John | May 5, 2011 | Uncategorized
Stylish moms and toilets? Gee, what does that remind me of? Ah, the Lustig goldfish story!
When I was a kid we had the world’s only talking goldfish. Okay, it didn’t exactly talk—at least not in anything recognizable as English.
But it used to come to the surface of its water bowl frequently and make popping sounds. Now I don’t remember any of this. I don’t even remember the fish. But my mom swears it was a very noisy goldfish.
In fact, all that fish chatter started getting on Mom’s nerves. And–since neither I nor my brother seemed to care about little Goldie Yaks–Mom decided Goldie had to go.
(If you’re squeamish or feel strongly about a goldfish’s “human” rights, please stop reading.)
The easiest way to send Goldie packing? The toilet!
But after Mom put Goldie into the toilet, she had a Mom moment. She wanted to be kind and give Goldie a fighting chance at survival–or at least a hearty last meal. So she dumped some fish food in the toilet. Then she flushed.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Beautiful woman showing off the fancy evening gown she's wearing.
WOMAN: …and now, I’ll scrub the toilet!
CAPTION: Mom, you’ve always had style! Happy Mother’s Day!
Art by Vince Colletta Studio
