6 Comments

1. 

   fine jams and jellies since 1982 on June 30, 2019 at 7:07 pm

   “What if the owner doesn’t want to sell?”…

   “Whine. Cry. Badger. The same methods I use to get laid.”
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   “I’ll stand outside his house, holding a boom box that’s playing Peter Gabriel’s ‘In Your Eyes’ over my head. He’ll weep. We’ll grow closer. Get married. And then I’ll angle for the clock in the divorce settlement.”
   __________________________________________

   “Then I’ll have to play hard ball with him. Or Boccie. You know. That game they were playing in The Godfather. Italians are crazy nuts over it I hear.”
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   “I’ll resort to whatever methods it takes: Bribery. Slander. Blackmail. Playing random selections from the Andrew Lloyd Weber songbook.”
   __________________________________________

   “Then I’ll have to show him why they call me ‘Timex’.”
   “Why do they call you ‘Timex’? Because you’re The Man Who Is Always On Time?”
   “No. Because I take a licking. And keep on ticking.”

   Reply
   • 

     John on June 30, 2019 at 8:35 pm

     “Whine. Cry. Badger. The same methods I use to get laid.”

     Watches and women–I have trouble telling them apart. To be safe, I always assume they’re right.

     Reply
2. 

   interventor on July 1, 2019 at 5:07 am

   Don’t marry, skips the whole divorce issue. While indulging in cheap affairs.

   Reply
   • 

     John on July 1, 2019 at 12:33 pm

     Not too romantic, but practical…I guess.

     Reply
3. 

   Dave Dell on July 2, 2019 at 1:29 pm

   There are no affairs without some cost. If you have any morals at all.

   A friend of mine used to say he had no morals. He had standards. I never felt he had very high standards. It’s cost him dearly over the years. Child support that is…

   Reply
   • 

     John on July 2, 2019 at 3:28 pm

     Even if he had no morals, I’m guessing it cost him a lot more than money, Dave.

     Reply