I’m Not Fat Today
Artist unknown. From the story “Flight to Destiny” in SWEETHEART #104, 1951.
Transcript:
I’m not fat today!
It’s true…
my waistband bulges.
And my skirt strains…
’til buttons fly!
But why?
I blame my clothes! No matter how many martinis I drink, they shrink!
Tomorrow: I will be thin…
Like a movie star! And people will sing,
“See her sexy hips! Watch ‘em swing!”
Next week: Fans praise my beauty!
Next month: I lose another pound!
And billboards show my booty!
Next year: I lose more!
And then—oh no!
I disappear completely!
Therefore…
I’m not fat that day!
Or any day!
So get outta my way!
I’m eating cheesecake–all day!
DJP.lk11
↓ Transcript
I’m not fat today!
It’s true...
my waistband bulges.
And my skirt strains...
’til buttons fly!
But why?
I blame my clothes! No matter how many martinis I drink, they shrink!
Tomorrow: I will be thin...
Like a movie star! And people will sing,
“See her sexy hips! Watch ‘em swing!”
Next week: Fans praise my beauty!
Next month: I lose another pound!
And billboards show my booty!
Next year: I lose more!
And then—oh no!
I disappear completely!
Therefore...
I’m not fat that day!
Or any day!
So get outta my way!
I’m eating cheesecake--all day!
DJP.lk11
It’s true...
my waistband bulges.
And my skirt strains...
’til buttons fly!
But why?
I blame my clothes! No matter how many martinis I drink, they shrink!
Tomorrow: I will be thin...
Like a movie star! And people will sing,
“See her sexy hips! Watch ‘em swing!”
Next week: Fans praise my beauty!
Next month: I lose another pound!
And billboards show my booty!
Next year: I lose more!
And then—oh no!
I disappear completely!
Therefore...
I’m not fat that day!
Or any day!
So get outta my way!
I’m eating cheesecake--all day!
DJP.lk11
