CAPTION: Reporter Lucy Lovely is trapped in a radioactive asbestos mine with dozens of escaped murderers; billions of poisonous spiders; and one really annoying French mime! Fortunately, Captain Muscles saves her--as usual!

DAUGHTER (to Mom & Dad): Plus he did my taxes and waxed Dad’s car!

DAD: It’d be a sad, crazy world...if superheroes weren’t real!

Art by Charles Nicholas and Sal Trapani