by John | Jun 30, 2011 | Uncategorized
This message brought to you by Frank the Overly Friendly Florist. Frank’s motto:
“Diamonds are forever, but flowers cost (slightly) less. So buy now before they all wilt and we have to throw them out!”
Major discounts available to anyone foolish enough to send us a blank check! Act now before you come to your senses!
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Woman holding eight roses that have just arrived. Man in foreground looking concerned.
WOMAN: Eight roses? sweet! But I still won’t sleep with you!
MAN: I knew I should've bought a dozen!
Art by Vince Colletta Studio
by John | Jun 28, 2011 | Uncategorized
I’m not good at waiting. So if you’re waiting for me to be patient while I wait for you…well, you’ve got a long wait.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Woman watching as man walks away from her.
WOMAN: B-but you said you’d been waiting for me all your life!
MAN: I wasn’t being romantic! I was complaining!
Art by Charles Nicholas & Sal Trapani
by John | Jun 26, 2011 | Uncategorized
Sign up for my Guaranteed, Foolproof, Can’t-Miss, Quit Smoking Program today! And get 50 percent off when you sign up to quit smoking again later!
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Man putting out a cigarette in an ashtray.
MAN: There! I just quit smoking! And it was easy…just like the last 12 times I did it today!
Art by Charles Nicholas and Sal Trapani
by John | Jun 23, 2011 | Uncategorized
↓ TranscriptMan and woman talking. They're wearing similar scarves.
MAN: So, I can wear your scarves?
WOMAN: Just stay out of my underwear and we’re good!
Art by John Tartaglione
by John | Jun 21, 2011 | Uncategorized
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Patient in a bed is totally wrapped in bandages. A doctor looks on.
PATIENT: Being gorgeous isn’t enough! There must be something else you can fix, Doc!
DOCTOR (thinking): Only one thing left! A personality transplant!
