by John | Nov 16, 2010 | Uncategorized
I wish I’d written this before the last election. Oh, well. It’s not like it’s an issue that’s going away anytime soon–unfortunately.
Oh, wait! In this context, I suppose the word “unfortunately” can be taken two ways.
And if I don’t explain you’ll have to think about it and fill in the blanks yourself. How…unfortunate!
↓ TranscriptMAN: But if gay marriages are legalized, I might turn gay!
WOMAN: Too late!
INKED, ENHANCED AND COLORED BY ALLEN FREEMAN
by John | Nov 14, 2010 | Uncategorized
I wrote two gags to go with this art and I was going to post the other one. But this is the gag that made my wife (Shelagh) laugh. So that’s what I’m using–even, though, I thought the other gag was funnier.
Maybe I’ll use the other joke another time. (I’m cracking up just thinking about it!) In the meantime, if you don’t think today’s joke is funny, blame Shelagh. If you like it, though, I’ll be glad to take the credit.
(12/30/2010) Okay by popular request, I’m finally posting the other gag here. Maybe I exaggerated just a teensy bit. Maybe Shelagh’s gag is funnier. But is better because…well, I’ll think of a good reason later. Or maybe I can get Shelagh to think of one for me. Honey…
↓ TranscriptSCENE: In the foreground is a woman with her back turned to a very short man (or someone far in the background!)
MAN: Hey, give me a chance! I’ve climbed taller women than you!
Art by Dick Giordano
by John | Nov 11, 2010 | Uncategorized
This is why I never take my invisible plane anywhere. I’m afraid I’ll lose it.
(I wrote this gag for the 2007 Wonder Woman Day Auction to benefit domestic violence shelters. The annual charity event always features some amazing art.)
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Young woman crying in a chair.
WOMAN: Great Hera! What was I thinking…challenging Big Barda to a drinking contest?
WOMAN (again): And where the #&@% did I park my invisible plane?!
CAPTION: Wonder Woman’s first hangover!
Art by the Vince Colletta Studio
by John | Nov 9, 2010 | Uncategorized
Welcome to Virgin Err…the airline that makes you feel like it’s your first time. Flying Virgin is like a trip back in time. So–if you’re late–it isn’t our fault!
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Two women talking. One is in the background and looks worried. The other is in the foreground and is patting her hair as she smiles.
WORRIED WOMAN: Golly! Should my boyfriend and I stay virgins or…?
SMILING WOMAN: Well, you can! But trust me…it’s too late for him!
by John | Nov 7, 2010 | Uncategorized
Remember, kids, sex is only dirty and disgusting…if you’re doing it right.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Man and woman outside a building. They may be in an alley.
MAN: Sex outside marriage is…
disgusting!
WOMAN: So let’s go inside...where no one’ll see us!
