by John | Oct 27, 2009 | Uncategorized
Ladies, as the official spokesman for all men, I can assure you that today’s comic is…oh, hell. It’s true. But don’t feel that you actually have to cook for us.
I mean, it’s not like we’re going to actually die of starvation. We can follow recipes (if there are pictures); toast bread without burning down the house (sometimes); and we can learn to whip eggs into submission. (Bad eggs!)
In short, we’re as smart as you. We’re just lazier and better at ordering takeout!
↓ TranscriptWOMAN FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Wild passion and cheap thrills are never enough! Sooner or later men Expect you to...cook for them!
by John | Oct 13, 2009 | Uncategorized
It’s always nice to have a choice…
by John | Oct 1, 2009 | Uncategorized
At Last Kiss Air, we guarantee that most of our pilots are sober, experienced and trustworthy. The rest are relatives. So we’re stuck with them.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A handsome, male, airline pilot is standing in a doorway talking to a woman.
PILOT: Hi! I'm working my way through flight school...and if I can sell just a few more tickets I'll get to fly a real plane.
WOMAN (thinks): It's a one-way ticket to doom, but...he's so handsome!
by John | Sep 24, 2009 | Uncategorized
Now that summer’s officially over, it’s good to take a moment and savor autumn. And then immediately panic because (Holy Crud!) there are only &^%# days to Christmas! And Hanukkah! And Uncle Binky’s birthday–it’s coming too!
And Aunt Lucy’s hemorrhoids! Shouldn’t you send a get well card?
What to do? What to do?
Fortunately, you’re a Last Kiss fan–so you’ll be prepared. Yes, the new Last Kiss greeting cards are still available. And shipping is free on all orders now. Best of all, every card sold:
1) makes me fabulously rich (in an alternative reality where Bill Gates is my brother. In this reality, it’ll just help me pay my bills and keep Last Kiss going. Yippee!)
2) proves that you’re funnier and more brilliant than all your friends–unless, of course, they buy Last Kiss cards too.
3) makes the world a better, funnier place. Unicorns will return to Middle Earth. And gravity will finally be negotiable. (There’s more, but I don’t want to make any promises I’m not sure I can keep.)
Buy Last Kiss cards today–and save the future from boredom/
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A man dressed as an airplane pilot is kissing a beautiful woman on the tarmac of an airport.
PILOT: Jeepers! A real woman! I knew buying this pilot's outfit would pay off!
WOMAN: Gosh! a real pilot! I knew stuffing my bra would
pay off!
aviation
by John | Aug 19, 2009 | Uncategorized
Writing a gag for art that has no visible people in it is always a challenge. For a long time now, I’ve been wanting to come up with a great gag for this piece of art. This is the best I’ve come up with (so far) that’s reasonably clean!
Sprechen Sie Deutsch? To read this comic in German click here.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Passenger jet dives steeply towards the water and then pulls up at the last second.
PILOT: HA!
PILOT (again): I saved us...at the last second!
PILOT (again): See? I told ya...
PILOT (again): I'm not hopelessly drunk!
aviation
