Widow Part 1

Widow Part 1

Click on image to see spectacularly larger view of today’s comic.

I love doing single-panel gags. Good, quick punch lines are a joy—if not forever then at least a couple of seconds.

But I also enjoy writing actual stories. And few stories have brought me as much pleasure as “Widow Miss Muffet.” Mainly because it gave me a chance to work with Dick Giordano.

For quite awhile now, I’d been thinking of serializing one of my comic book stories on the web. But which story? After Dick passed away on March 27, I realized that “Widow” had to be the story.

Dick Giordano helped make Last Kiss possible. He was there from the start–although I wouldn’t meet him until years later.

The first Last Kiss gag I ever wrote featured romance art by Dick. All of my Last Kiss comic books have had Giordano covers. And I’ve recycled Dick’s old art (to his great amusement) for countless snarky Last Kiss gags.

In addition, Dick (when asked) was generous with valuable info about comics, artists and (Gasp!) life itself. And—to top it all off—he agreed to draw “Widow” for me.

Unfortunately, it was the only time we ever worked on a story together.

So enjoy. Subsequent episodes will be smaller. But they’ll be often. In fact, the next one is tomorrow!

Love & Last Kisses,
John

Sprechen Sie Deutsch? To read this comic in German click here.

↓ Transcript
PANEL 1-SCENE: An attractive, middle-aged woman (Auntie Maim) is talking to a little girl (Muffet) who turns out to be her niece. As Maim talks, we see a scene from her past in the background. It's Maim as a young woman being carried off by a bare-chested South Seas native.

CAPTION: "My Auntie Maim had the perfect life! She married an elderly tycoon who died during their honeymoon from what Auntie said was...'An overdose of happiness!' Afterwards, Auntie bravely carried on...partying and traveling all over the world! And she always had the most amazing adventures!"

MAIM: and, instead of sacrificing me to the volcano, the chief carried me off to his hut where we...uh, played a special sort of wrestling game for adults!

MUFFET: Gosh, Auntie! Did he pin you?

PANEL 2-SCENE: Maim leans in close to Muffet.

MAIM: Baby, I got pinned more often than a cheerleader at a frat party!

MUFFET: ???

PANEL 3-SCENE: Cut to Muffet all dressed up in oversized adult woman's clothes, pretending she's getting married to her stuffed animal (rabbit), Mr. Fluffy.

CAPTION: "I wanted to be just like Auntie Maim! when I grew up I was going to marry an old codger with a sick heart and a Healthy bank account!"

MUFFET: I now pronounce us, husband and wife!

PANEL 4, SCENE: Cut to a shallow grave where Mr. Fluffy is apparently buried. (We can see his ears sticking out above ground.) Muffet is crying.

SIGN ON GRAVESTONE: Mr. Fluffy
Beluvved husband of Mitzi Muffet!

STORY TITLE: Widow Miss Muffet

CREDITS: Script by John Lustig, Art by Dick Giordano

MUFFET: Goodbye, Mr. Fluffy! At a time like this (Sniff!) there’s only one thing to do!

PANEL 5, SCENE: Cut to close up of Muffet, crying, but smiling.

MUFFET: I'm going to Disneyland!

I Love…Who?

I Love…Who?

This is the last single-panel gag I’ll be running for awhile. Starting Monday (May 17) I’ll be switching over to a three-week-long continuing story. And Last Kiss will appear twice as often–six times a week.

Why am I doing this? You can wait and find out Monday. Or you can read my blog now and find out!

↓ Transcript
SCENE: Man and woman kissing passionately.

WOMAN: At last...I’m in love with only one man at a time!

MAN: Jeepers! Is it anyone I know?

Deluxe Lip Service

Deluxe Lip Service

I could save a bundle tipping this way!

↓ Transcript
SCENE: A woman stands in the doorway of a hotel room, looking in with displeasure as man inside kisses someone (could be a woman or a man) who is apparently a hotel employee.

WOMAN (thinks): Oh, honey! can’t you just tip for room service like everyone else?

MAN: (thinks): Hmm! Four-star service indeed!

A World without Men?

A World without Men?

↓ Transcript
SCENE: A young woman is crying. An older woman has her arm around the young woman and is comforting her.

YOUNG WOMAN: Happy...without a man? I didn’t know it was an option!

You’re Mom’s Best Gift

You’re Mom’s Best Gift

Thanks, Mom. I think you’re pretty swell too! Happy Mother’s Day!

↓ Transcript
SCENE: A smiling woman holds up a happy baby.

MOM: You're perfect!

BABY (thinks): I know!

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