by John | Mar 8, 2009 | Uncategorized
This is the first of two comics about going to see THE WATCHMEN. I have to admit that I haven’t actually seen the movie myself. But I almost feel like I have. Everybody seems to be talking about it. Reviews are mixed–from disappointing to outstanding. Oddly enough, the biggest complaint about it seems to be that it sticks “too closely” to the graphic novel and doesn’t bring anything new (besides sound, action and special effects) to the story. We’ll see…
↓ TranscriptCAPTION #1: Who watches the Watchmen? People like you!
PANEL 1
CAPTION #2: Smart people!
MAN BUYING MOVIE TICKET AT BOOTH: Sure, sweetie! I qualify for a student discount! I’m getting a B.A. in B.S. at Befuddled U!
PANEL 2
CAPTION #3: People who plan ahead for a long, long movie!
WOMAN TO DATE: I’m getting in line for the Ladies Room now! By the time I get in…I may actually need to go!
by John | Mar 6, 2009 | Uncategorized
I should point out that THE LEAGUE OF BALDING, MIDDLE-AGED GUYS IN SKIN-TIGHT SUITS would make a swell movie. I’m waiting for offers from Hollywood right now. Still waiting.
↓ TranscriptCAPTION (voice over by woman--main character): “My hubby bought me Marvey Comics as a wedding present! At last I could have my revenge! I immediately announced that we were publishing a new comic book: The League of Balding, Middle-Aged Guys in Skin-Tight Suits!"
WOMAN: Congrats, gentlemen! You’re our new booth bunnies! Your costumes are in the shoebox on my desk!
MAN: Oh, boy! dibs on the purple thong!
by John | Mar 3, 2009 | Uncategorized
Just to be clear, I love Stan Lee. And, Stan, if you want to come to my booth and wear a thong…uh, I’ll get back to you about that.
↓ TranscriptPANEL 1
WOMAN: You pig! If I was Stan Lee you wouldn't ask me to wear a leather thong!
MAN (comic book executive): Actually, Stan offered, but we turned him down!
PANEL 2
CAPTION (voice over by bride): “But I had the last laugh! At the con, I met a millionaire...and we fell in love!”
GROOM (thinks as he kisses bride): I hope she’s pristine mint!
CAPTION: To be continued
by John | Mar 2, 2009 | Uncategorized
Here’s the start of a three-parter about working in the comics business. All names have been changed or omitted to protected the fictitious.
↓ TranscriptPANEL 1
CAPTION (voice over by woman--main character): “Working at Marvey Comics was fun at first! The artists gave me free tattoos and the writers were hilarious...in an escaped loony sort of way!”
MAN (comic book writer): If I were younger, handsome and had muscles...I’d be just like my character...Captain Macho!
PANEL 2
CAPTION (voice over by woman--main character): "But then I was ordered to appear at the company's booth at a comic convention dressed up as...”
MAN (comic book company executive): ...anti-gravity girl! The scintillating siren of silicone!
CAPTION: To be continued
by John | Feb 27, 2009 | Uncategorized
After a pun like that you might wonder if I can sink any lower. No. That wood be impossible.
↓ TranscriptWOMAN (kissing man): I was a fool to waste my time on doctors and lawyers when I could get...nailed by a carpenter!
