Stop Undressing Me
↓ Transcript
WOMAN: Stop undressing me with your eyes!
WOMAN (again): Use your teeth!
WOMAN (again): Use your teeth!
Now We’re Cooking
Well, at least she’s cooking–sorta. These days, I’m either eating things cold (salads) or I’m microwaving. Does that count as cooking?
The Major General of Lustig Culinary Delights (Shelagh) has been AWOL much of this month on a nursing assignment–healing the sick and no doubt laughing at jokes funnier than mine. (Sob!) Fortunately, she’ll return in a few days and so I’ll have my audience/laugh track back.
In the meantime, it’s not like I can’t fend on my own. I’m eating pretty healthy. And it’s kinda fun seeing how many forgotten items from the fridge and pantry I can throw together in a wrap and see if they explode in the microwave. Tomorrow I may break out the wok and stir fry whatever’s in the freezer. Now, that’s real cooking!
↓ Transcript
SCENE: Young woman and young man are on the beach roasting marshmallows.
WOMAN: See! I told you I can cook!
WOMAN: See! I told you I can cook!
A Friend Of The Fleet
↓ Transcript
WOMAN (close-up): Don't wait up for me, Dear! The Fleet's in! I may not be back for days!
Maid To Please
Announcing the Last Kiss Maid Service: We take care of all your needs–whether you like it or not!
↓ Transcript
CAPTION: Always eager to please, Millie was almost the perfect maid…
YOUNG WOMAN (to maid): You gave a flea bath to the dog?
MAID: Yup! And to your dad too!
YOUNG WOMAN (to maid): You gave a flea bath to the dog?
MAID: Yup! And to your dad too!
Deep Sea Divorce
Sprechen Sie Deutsch? Read this comic in German.
↓ Transcript
DIVER (about to be attacked by shark): Those gaping
jaws! that look of insatiable hunger!
DIVER (again): No! Wait! It’s just a shark!
DIVER (again): For a moment...I was afraid it was my ex-wife!
jaws! that look of insatiable hunger!
DIVER (again): No! Wait! It’s just a shark!
DIVER (again): For a moment...I was afraid it was my ex-wife!
