by John | Mar 21, 2010 | Uncategorized
How bad do you have to be to get out of prison 20 years early? Bad enough to be sent back to prison–if you’re caught!
↓ TranscriptMan opens door and finds another man and a woman embracing.
MAN (in doorway): But, Warden, you can't let her go! She's still got 20 years to go on her
sentence!
WOMAN: I'm getting time off...for bad behavior!
by John | Mar 18, 2010 | Uncategorized
Order now. Operators are standing by. And they’re getting cranky!
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A young couple are kissing on a porch. Two identical books are on the porch steps.
HEADLINE TEXT: Are You a Failure at Fornication?
TEXT: A mating dropout? A loving loser?
Then you need the book that’s helped millions…beget more millions:
BOOK TITLE: Sex for Nitwits!
TEASER TEXT: --Learn about sex at home--alone!
--New edition with more pictures!
--Fewer big words!
--And! Shorter! Sentences!
TESTIMONIAL: “Sex for Nitwits changed my life!”
--Votta Von Tramp,
Last Kiss Home for Unwed Moms!
MAN (KISSING WOMAN): I bought two copies so I’d learn twice as much!
WOMAN: I bought three!
by John | Mar 16, 2010 | Uncategorized
See the world. Date the Navy!
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Woman kisses a sailor as another couple looks on.
WOMAN KISSING SAILOR: At last...my collection is complete! I have a sailor in every port!
by John | Mar 14, 2010 | Uncategorized
I’m not lying. I’m just exploring an alternative reality…
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Man and woman talking.
MAN: I’ve stopped sleeping with my ex-wife! And I’m almost cured of my need to always lie!
WOMAN: At last...we can get married!
by John | Mar 11, 2010 | Uncategorized
Brought to you by Virgin Bright–the only tooth paste that makes your teeth and your reputation shine!
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A woman brushes her teeth.
WOMAN: Gosh! I feel so clean and minty fresh! It's like regaining my virginity...between meals!
