Sticks and stones may break my bones, but…
–words will never hurt me. However, I’ll still sue for libel!
–oh, crap! The pain! Make it stop!
–I carry a gun! So back off, punk!
–my words are sharp and you’re a pincushion…waiting to get stuck!
–but a little, light bondage might be fun!
“By the pound, I’ve overpaid! My kisses deserve a better grade…of prime rib — USDA!”
Play it safe and have a Happy Father’s Day!
“I proudly accept this award because…it’s obvious! I deserve it!”
–Modesty Von Tramp
Sophisticated scientific studies (which I just made up) show that at least 100 percent of women* suffer from occasional bouts of male sickness. This disease now has a name (because I just made it up too): Male-o-pause!
If you have symptoms of Male-o-pause (itching, anxiety, breathing) see your doctor. There! Don’t you feel better?
*Do men suffer from Male-o-pause? Who knows? Attempts at research usually end in drunken brawls.
