by John | Dec 2, 2010 | Uncategorized
Now the average reader might respond to this comic by saying something like:
1. You idiot! You’ve misspelled “Holy.”
But you’ve figured out that this alternative spelling is a pun. And maybe it isn’t that funny to most people. But you’re the exception and think it’s hilarious.
2. “Hey, wait a minute!” protests the average reader. “If she’s having sex, how come she’s dressed? And how come she’s standing or at least sitting up?”
Fortunately, you’ve figured out that the earthquake has thrown her off the bed and her clothes (which were also airborne) landed on her.
There! Aren’t you glad you didn’t have to ask?
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Woman looks startled and appears to be shaking.
WOMAN: H-h-holey condoms! You’re
n-not a great lover! We’re just having
an earth-Q-Q-quake!
Art by Dick Giordano
by John | Dec 1, 2010 | Uncategorized
Apply today for the Last Kiss Sex Education-Home Learning Course and get a free lecture from my mom. Extra guilt now available!
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Woman on leaning back on couch/sofa--looking apprehensively at a man who has his back to us.
WOMAN: No sex ‘til we’re married…
or at least pregnant!
MAN (thinking): ?!!
by John | Nov 28, 2010 | Uncategorized
Living in Seattle, I should be ashamed of this. But here’s the shocking, tabloid-worthy truth: I don’t drink coffee.
Never have. And it’s too bad. ‘Cause I hear wonderful things about the power of Demon Caffeine.
I’m not one of those people who spring out of bed at the break of day–a song on my lips–ready to make the world a better place.
If I drank coffee, though, maybe I’d be…perky. Maybe I’d write faster. Maybe I’d be a better person. Maybe I’d have even have come up with a clever way to end this.
But I don’t drink coffee. So I didn’t.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Woman with her head down, her eyes closed and her hand to her brow.
WOMAN: Don’t say anything! Just...bring me coffee!
by John | Nov 25, 2010 | Uncategorized
Virginity: The gift that keeps on not giving.
Also funny in German!
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Two women talking. One is holding a book.
WOMAN WITH BOOK: It says boys prefer girls who are virgins!
WOMAN WITHOUT BOOK: Then I’ll stay a virgin forever!
INKED, ENHANCED AND COLORED BY ALLEN FREEMAN
by John | Nov 23, 2010 | Uncategorized
I’m thankful almost beyond words to be home from the Portland Comic Book Show. (Great convention, but lousy weather the next day.)
It was a treacherous 11-hour drive to Seattle (normally takes three!) through a snow storm with 70 mph wind gusts and conditions that made driving two miles-per-hour seem like speeding.
I’m especially thankful to my sister and brother-in-law (Lisa and Richard Hernandez.) Rich drove the whole way (except for a scary 15 minutes–more about that another time.)
When it proved impossible to make it all the way to home to Shelagh in North Seattle, Lisa and Rich put me up for two days at their home on Mercer Island.
So–thankful? You bet.
Happy Thanksgiving everybody!
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Man and woman embracing in a kitchen.
WOMAN: Let’s give thanks now...
before your family shows up!
