Original Vintage Art & Text
Inks by Vince Colletta from the cover of First Kiss #5, Sept. 1958. Published by Charlton.
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↓ Transcript
SCENE: Man and woman embracing, talking and probably about to kiss.
CAPTION: Never a social butterfly--or even a particularly likable caterpillar--Ron Redux doesn’t date! Or talk to women! Or even leave his house! But then, one day he’s struck by a magical bolt of comic book irony and becomes everyone’s favorite superhero...Major Success!
MAN: Nothing is impossible for me now! I can fly! turn time backwards! and bend men to my will!
WOMEN: What about women? Can you...bend me?
MAN: Honey, if you were anymore bendable, you’d be a puddle on the floor!
WOMAN: Then get a mop, baby! and kiss me quickly...because I‘m melting fast!
CAPTION: Remember, kids! Don’t try this at home...unless you’ve got flood insurance!
1958 Inks: Vince Colletta New Color: Allen Freeman
Have Mop, Will Travel: John Lustig
5_Cover_Blue
CAPTION: Never a social butterfly--or even a particularly likable caterpillar--Ron Redux doesn’t date! Or talk to women! Or even leave his house! But then, one day he’s struck by a magical bolt of comic book irony and becomes everyone’s favorite superhero...Major Success!
MAN: Nothing is impossible for me now! I can fly! turn time backwards! and bend men to my will!
WOMEN: What about women? Can you...bend me?
MAN: Honey, if you were anymore bendable, you’d be a puddle on the floor!
WOMAN: Then get a mop, baby! and kiss me quickly...because I‘m melting fast!
CAPTION: Remember, kids! Don’t try this at home...unless you’ve got flood insurance!
1958 Inks: Vince Colletta New Color: Allen Freeman
Have Mop, Will Travel: John Lustig
5_Cover_Blue
What might be going through their minds at this moment:
Him: “Mmmmm. She smells like bacon…”
Her: “Oh please let that be his finger. His little finger at that. Cos I’m gonna be so disappointed if it’s something else…”
Him: “Think of Ryan Gosling…Think of Hugh Jackman…Think of me and Hugh Jackman and Ryan Gosling making a sandwich…”
Her: “Of all the times I needed to fart, why now?”
Him: “I knew having low standards would pay off one day.”
Her: “Damn. And it’s a Taco Bell burrito kind of fart too…”
Him: “I knew having a penis would come in handy some day…”
Her: “Oh well. If things don’t work out, his sister’s hot.”
Unfortunately, Major Success was outranked by Lieutenant Colonel Failure
One of my favorite lines from Friends comes after Phoebe Buffay introduces Chandler to her bra.
Chandler: It’s very very nice. Well, come here. I’m very happy we’re going to have all the sex.
Phoebe: You should be. I’m very bendy.
Then, of course, there’s always Pam’s best line on Archer.
https://i.imgur.com/j3iYzAC.png
Anybody remember Captain Everything in Valentino’s “Normalman” comic book?
Never heard of him but a quick google search makes me think Normalman will occupy a crappy, rainy, October afternoon.