What is this woman saying? Or thinking? Or hearing? It’s up to you. Suggest some dialog!
Rules: No prizes. No winners. No losers. And no deadline. This is just for the sheer silliness of it all.
For legal reasons, I have to tell you that all submissions become the property of Last Kiss Inc. That’s pretty standard for contests–except, of course, this isn’t a contest.
Please keep it reasonably clean (PG-13 or so.) But mostly have fun!
I kissed a girl and I liked it…but how am I going to get that cherry chapstick off my blouse before I get home to that lazy husband.
Now who would have thunk this Space Needle souvenir vibrates?
Come in Control. Yes Chief, this is Agent 99. The suitcase phone is working great but Max had a little accident. Sorry Chief but I forgot to tell him I was wearing the double barreled gun bra.
Married in Lynnwood, buried in Lynnwood……..it’s all the same
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Oh why can’t I bring home my pictures of me and Wayne Newton?!!
I’m sorry to have to do this to you, Barbie……..
“Married in Lynnwood, buried in Lynnwood……..it’s all the same”
Frothingham…so true…so true.
Hubby always liked Vargas better than Vegas
It’s so sweet the way he keeps his old love letters in this suitcase.
None of them are from me.
well, I guess there’s no point in keeping this old pre-transgender wardrobe
I love to look at this old wedding dress.
I hope to actually use it some day before it goes out of style.
Before marriage goes out of style, that is.
My dolls have been violated !!
Mummy dearest, the only reason i’m keeping you in here
is that I’m still collecting your Social Security checks.
You understand, don’t you dear?
Well if the Airline is going to charge me for a heavy bag, I guess this microwave can stay home with the kitchen sink.
Let’s see, towels, bathrobe, TV remote, alarm clock, ice bucket & glasses, teenie tiny shampoo, conditioner & hand cream, room key. Yup, I’ve got everything that’s not nailed down.
Gaaaa! Christmas has “snuck” up on me again. I wonder if I could give out some of these old aftershaves of Dad’s that he stashed in here before he died as last minute gifts, nobody would know.
Oh, no! where are my whips & gear. All that’s in here is underwear and knitting. Some old granny is in for a suprise.
“Oh my God!, I ‘ve brought all the toys , but forgot the power converter! Damn these European hotels!”
Woman thinking to herself: “Now where in the world could Tiger be?”
Wow! You folks are really on a roll. I’m impressed by both the quality and the number of submissions. Thank you everyone!
I’m glad this isn’t a true contest, because I’d have trouble picking a best submission. But I do want to doff my hat to a couple of folks here. Wyld1mi, I’ve never had anyone send me so many high-quality gags in such a short time. Usually when someone submits multiple gags, only one or two (or even none) are funny. Not so here. Great job, Wyld1mi.
Likewise, some great gags from Frothingham. And I love the banter between you and Wyld1mi.
And there’s plenty of other fun gags here from other Last Kiss fans. Everyone feel free to compliment each other. There’s some amazing stuff here. Thank you!
That’s funny. I don’t remember eating corn for breakfast.
Saddam’s suitcase! Filled with WMDs……George was Right!
I just hate it when Airport Security paws through my S & M gear!
That’s it! I’m leaving! I can put up with dirty socks on the floor, bad breath, and lame sex, but no one throws out my Wonder Woman comics!
“Loose”? “A flirt”? “TEASE”? I’ll show him! This time I’ll sleep with the WHOLE hockey team. We’ll see who’s the tease NOW!
Honey, I think that “65 year old co-worker” you went to the conference with left her g-string in your suitcase.
97..98..99. Damn! Short by $1000.
A one night stand in a hotel room is the best. Why go through a man’s entire house when you can settle for rifling through a closet and suitcase?!!!
Now if I can just keep this suitcase in front of my face all day no one will see that darned cold sore.
I am finally ready for the comic con. I hope John Lustig notices me this year. My all Fifties wardrobe better pay off this time.
It was nice knowing you, John, but this is our last trip. Sorry I don’t have room for the torso.
My hats off to Frothingham for sheer volume of funny…but that’s all I’m taking off.
Your captions and comments have been great fun !!
I have to compliment Frothingham too, so many and all so funny. Enjoyed yours too Married in Lynwood, in fact I got a laugh out of all of them. John’s readers have to be the smartest and wittiest people in the country, if not on the planet. It’s so fun to ‘meet’ so many wonderfully weird people as I sit at my laptop in Australia.
Thank you, Laura !!
Huh. Dueling pistols… with live ammunition.
So hubby DID remember our wedding anniversary.
What’s he taking on our honeymoon?… An autographed copy of Glenn Beck’s new book!… BARRRFFFFFFF!
“I’ll change your diaper when we get to St. Louis. And remember, NO CRYING when we pass through security.”
“Hush little baby, don’t you cry,
airline tickets are so damned high.”
Oh, no! I forgot to unpack all the towels, robes, hangers and bed linens I stole on my LAST trip!
Five dresses, six blouses, three pair of shoes, lingerie, stockings ….OMG where’s my glockenspiel?
This is really funny translated into German.
I hate to tell you this, but i know who`s been going around with your glockenspiel.
To see that he never strayed again, Liz packed her husband in with the ventrioquil figure she owned.
Now, that’s strange, why would Mom get a love note from a traveling trumpet player named Freddie the Hustler exactly 10 months before I was born?
Hm… no Tampax. But, hey, I’ve brought my vibrator! Let’s have fun!
Holy cats! He packed the big vibrator.
¿where’s the fuckin dildo?!
The d one and the You can read? ones had me in stitches. Arctic Circle last week, and then Last Kiss this week keep em coming! My bookmarks list is getting that much longer. lol