This story first appeared in Comics Buyer’s Guide #1371, the 2000 Valentine’s Day edition. And, quite frankly, it revolutionized Last Kiss. Without it, I doubt there’d still be a Last Kiss today.
Last Kiss debuted in 1996 in the pages of Comics Buyer’s Guide. It ran haphazardly as an occasional feature using romance comic book covers that I rewrote—allegedly to make them funnier than the originals.
These faux covers ran through 1998. Then I got busy and moved on to other things—forever, I thought.
But in the summer of 1999, I ran into CBG editor John Jackson Miller and—to my surprise—found myself asking if he’d like a Last Kiss feature for the paper’s next Valentine’s Day issue. John said, “Yes.” So I whipped up this story. And Last Kiss was back in business.
The story along with the cover I created were so well-received that Last Kiss was offered a spot as a regular multi-panel feature…which I continued doing until CBG folded in 2013. But by then, Last Kiss had found a new and much bigger audience here and on other sites such as GoComics.
Transcript:
PAGE 1, PANEL 1, SCENE: A male pilot and a female flight attendant are talking outside a commercial jet.
TITLE: I WAS a Barf Bag Valentine
CAPTAIN JACK: Give up, Jill! It’s Valentine’s Day! And I’m so handsome I even turn myself on! Do yourself a favor…and kiss me!
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Jack, how sweet! I don’t know what to say except…
PAGE 1, PANEL 2, SCENE: Jill and Jack continue talking.
JILL: I’d rather run naked…covered in honey…through a swarm of bees.
JACK: Gosh! Who wouldn’t? Maybe we can go together sometime!
PAGE 1, PANEL 3, SCENE: Jill is alone.
CAPTION: “Then he handed me a Valentine…the big lug! I trembled as I read the card, but I refused to fall in love again! I couldn’t take the chance!”
JILL: Men are all alike! Sooner or later…Jack would want more than just wild passion and cheap thrills! He’d expect me to…cook for him!
1960 ART: Charles Nicholas & Sal Trapani Color by John Lustig
FK15_11Short & FK15.2.1
TITLE: I WAS a Barf Bag Valentine
CAPTAIN JACK: Give up, Jill! It's Valentine's Day! And I'm so handsome I even turn myself on! Do yourself a favor...and kiss me!
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Jack, how sweet! I don't know what to say except...
PAGE 1, PANEL 2, SCENE: Jill and Jack continue talking.
JILL: I'd rather run naked...covered in honey...through a swarm of bees.
JACK: Gosh! Who wouldn't? Maybe we can go together sometime!
PAGE 1, PANEL 3, SCENE: Jill is alone.
CAPTION: "Then he handed me a Valentine...the big lug! I trembled as I read the card, but I refused to fall in love again! I couldn't take the chance!"
JILL: Men are all alike! Sooner or later...Jack would want more than just wild passion and cheap thrills! He'd expect me to...cook for him!
1960 ART: Charles Nicholas & Sal Trapani Color by John Lustig
FK15_11Short & FK15.2.1
Those men just think she’s a tease, who gets her kicks out of leaving their trays in an upright position.
Old: Old joke about flying United. Back then the passengers could have asked for her TWA tea.
New: Certainly is looking for a Title VII lawsuit there.
“I’ll show him where the cockpit is!!”
Looks like she is ready to kick it.