Passive-Aggressive Revenge is Sweet
If you’re not familiar with the concept of passive aggressive, Psychology Today lists these 10 phrases as common P.A. statements. (Comments in italics are mine.)
1. “I’m Not Mad.”
(Nope. Not me. You’re the one who’s mad. You just don’t know it yet.)
Original art 1968. Click image to enlarge.
2. “Fine.””Whatever.”
(If I ignore you, maybe you’ll go away. Or stop existing.)
3. “I’m Coming!”
(Eventually—maybe.)
4. “I Didn’t Know You Meant Now.”
(Now—as in this century? What’s the rush?)
5. “You Just Want Everything to be Perfect.”
(Well, that’s the last time I’m going to perform a vasectomy on you, Mr. Pickydicki.)
6. “I Thought You Knew.”
(I was sure you could read my mind.)
7. “Sure, I’d be Happy To.”
(Happy to slap you silly, you jerk.)
8. “You’ve Done so Well for Someone with Your Education Level.”
(Of course, that wasn’t an insult. But—if you like—I’ll explain it again slowly so you understand.)
9. “I Was Only Joking”
(If I wasn’t joking, I’d have used a real grenade.)
10. “Why Are You Getting So Upset?”
(Chill out, dude. That snake I put in your bed probably isn’t even poisonous.)
WOMAN: After our date, you forgot to call! So, I left a message with someone...possibly your wife!
