by John | Jun 26, 2011 | Uncategorized
Sign up for my Guaranteed, Foolproof, Can’t-Miss, Quit Smoking Program today! And get 50 percent off when you sign up to quit smoking again later!
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Man putting out a cigarette in an ashtray.
MAN: There! I just quit smoking! And it was easy…just like the last 12 times I did it today!
Art by Charles Nicholas and Sal Trapani
by John | Apr 17, 2011 | Uncategorized
Office Therapy Hours: M-Th 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.
Happy Hours Therapy: The rest of the time!
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Woman and man drinking.
WOMAN: As your therapist, I disapprove! But as a girl you met in a bar...I’m available!
Art by Vince Colletta Studio
by John | Apr 12, 2011 | Uncategorized
Sadly, Nick O’Teen McPuff never did figure out why women–even the ones who smoked–always hid from him.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Man smoking a cigarette.
MAN: Gee! All the good-lookin’ chicks must be hidin’...in the no smokin’ section...again!
Art by Vince Colletta Studio
by John | Nov 11, 2010 | Uncategorized
This is why I never take my invisible plane anywhere. I’m afraid I’ll lose it.
(I wrote this gag for the 2007 Wonder Woman Day Auction to benefit domestic violence shelters. The annual charity event always features some amazing art.)
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Young woman crying in a chair.
WOMAN: Great Hera! What was I thinking…challenging Big Barda to a drinking contest?
WOMAN (again): And where the #&@% did I park my invisible plane?!
CAPTION: Wonder Woman’s first hangover!
Art by the Vince Colletta Studio
by John | Aug 15, 2010 | Uncategorized
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A flight attendant is holding a tray (we can't see what's on the tray) as she walks down the aisle of a plane filled with passengers.
CAPTION #1: Stop stressing! Fly high with Mellow Air! Great trips guaranteed--even if we forget to take off!
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: More tranquilizers, anyone?
PASSENGER #1: S-o-o-o stoned!
PASSENGER #2: Darn! This book is still upside down!
CAPTION #2: Mellow Air! Now with more flights...to wherever we manage to land!
