by John | Sep 26, 2010 | Uncategorized
Husbands One, Two, Four, five, Six, and Lucky Number Seven all died accidentally of food poisoning. Husband Three committed suicide by shooting himself repeatedly through the heart while falling off a cliff. These things happen…
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Man and woman embracing in a car. Man looks disturbed or doubtful about something the woman is saying:
Golly!
You remind me
of my first four husbands!
Inks by Dick Giordano
by John | Sep 23, 2010 | Uncategorized
No, wearing a scarf doesn’t mean you’re gay. It means you…uh, want to be a cowboy. That’s it. I mean–John Wayne wore scarves…or at least bandanas. Manly bandanas! Spit-in-your-eye, tough-guy bandanas!
So there you go! If you’re not wearing a bandana chances are…you’re gay!
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A man and a woman--both wearing scarves--kiss.
BOTH (thinking) There! This proves I’m not gay!
by John | Sep 21, 2010 | Uncategorized
“It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”
—Mark Twain
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Man talking to woman.
MAN: You’d hate the truth! So here's my best lie...
by John | Sep 19, 2010 | Uncategorized
Remember, kids! Getting turned on by fruit, vegetables or small household appliances doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. But we’ll punish you anyway–just to play it safe!
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Young woman eats a raw carrot as her mom looks on.
MOM: I don’t care what you learned in school! In my house it’s a carrot! Not a phallic symbol!
SOUND: Crunch!
Art by Vince Colletta Studio
Color by Allen Freeman and John Lustig
by John | Sep 16, 2010 | Uncategorized
Cute family nicknames are fun. After all, anyone can have an Uncle Fred. (I mean it. We’re giving ours away.)
But how many of you have an Uncle Stink Face? Ah hah! He sounds more interesting now–right? Suddenly, you want him.
(And you’re in luck! We’re still giving him away. Call now while supplies last and we’ll throw in Cousin Edwin or as we affectionately call him–That Sneaky Little Pervert.)
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Matronly woman sternly admonishes someone (whom we can't see.)
WOMAN: Stop calling me your “maiden aunt...”
WOMAN (again): And I’ll stop calling you my slutty niece!
WOMAN (again): Deal?
Art by Vince Colletta Studio
