Postage Due, Valentine!

Postage Due, Valentine!

by | Feb 11, 2010 | Uncategorized

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↓ Transcript
SCENE: A beautiful woman cries and stares at a letter carrier as he takes some mail out of a box and looks back at her.

WOMAN: B-but you must have at least one valentine for me! I've slept with every man in town!

MALE LETTER CARRIER: Well...uh, not every man!

Stimulus Package Valentine

Stimulus Package Valentine

by | Feb 13, 2009 | Uncategorized

Valentine’s Day is a major event in the Lustig household. It’s not well known, but without our lavish Valentine celebrations the candy, flower, stupid-but-adorable gift, and eatable panty industries would collapse.

But times are tough. So we’re praying that Congress includes a modest $1 billion (or two!) Valentine subsidy in the stimulus package. After all, even in desperate times like these, everyone should be able to afford romance…and eatable underwear.

↓ Transcript
CAPTION: Happy Valentine’s Day!

WOMAN: Wow! You’re like...the ultimate stimulus package!

MAN: Let’s call Congress!