by John | Apr 11, 2010 | Uncategorized
The Last Kiss Guide to Etiquette: Don’t French kiss your sweetie’s mom on the first date. Exchanging saliva is never okay…until at least the second date.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A man and woman are dancing. The woman has a sloppy smile and appears to have had quite a bit to drink.
WOMAN: I’m not much of a drinker! But you probably figured that out...when I French kissed your mom!
by John | Mar 28, 2010 | Uncategorized
It’s not like it’s a big commitment or anything…
↓ TranscriptWOMAN: I misplaced my dog! And my guppies flushed themselves down the drain!
WOMAN: But…sure! Let's have kids!
by John | Feb 4, 2010 | Uncategorized
Run!!!!
I don’t always know who my characters are. But this fearsome mom is different. Many thanks to fan Torsten Adair who came up with the following name and bio:
Gertrude P. Thornsucker. (The P stands for Patricia.) Thornsucker is her maiden name.
She was once the CEO of Amalgamated Feminine Industries. The company was merged with Sweet & Pink, Inc, at which time she retired as CEO and took a seat on the Board of Directors.
In her spare time, she does needlepoint of stock certificates (highly sought after on Wall Street) while listening to Bloomberg Radio. She is a championship Bridge player, once beating the pair of Bill Gates and Warren Buffett. (Warren mowed her lawn, Bill designed her MySpace page.)
(more…)
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A young woman is holding a phone to her ear. Her mother is next to her and is lecturing her.
MOTHER: …and tell your father to hurry! I’ve either got gas…or I’m horny!
DAUGHTER: Either way, as soon as I hang up--I’m outta here!
by John | Dec 28, 2009 | Uncategorized
Patience is a virtue…if you can afford to wait for it.
Sprechen Sie Deutsch? Read this comic in German.
↓ TranscriptMOM (to grown daughter): In my day, good girls waited to have sex!
DAUGHTER: I waited...10 minutes once! Worst date I ever had!
by John | Sep 18, 2009 | Uncategorized
Do I need to explain that this is just a joke? And that no babies, moms, or imaginary animals were harmed, traumatized or sexualized in the making of this comic? No? Good!
This comic is now available in German.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Smiling mom with smiling baby.
MOM: Guess what? It's time to breast feed!
BABY: Oedipus complex by damned! I'm in love!
