by John | Jul 24, 2009 | Uncategorized
↓ TranscriptCAPTION: The secret origin of...Dead Damsel!
CAPTION (2): The super heroine who never says die...
CAPTION (3): Or anything else anymore!
DEAD DAMSEL: Golly! I’ve been bitten by a radioactive snake!
DEAD DAMSEL (again): I wonder what amazing super powers
I’ll develop!
DEAD DAMSEL (again): The amazing ability to stop breathing...and turn blue, you nitwit!
by John | Jun 22, 2009 | Uncategorized
Giraffe Girl was born one day when I found a story in my archive that literally made my jaw drop. The art was stunningly, unbelievably…bad!
I was sure I’d never be able to find a use for it. But then I took another look and noticed something weird. In every panel, the woman in the story had a ridiculously long neck. So I started thinking, what if I took one of the panels and made her neck even longer…
↓ TranscriptCAPTION: Last Kiss Inc. is constantly searching for new, exciting characters to star in our little melodramas of love and lighthearted despair! We had high hopes for Giraffe Girl--”The Human Skyscraper!” Alas, she was just a one-story wonder!
GIRAFFE GIRL (has really long neck): I want a regular date...like an ordinary girl!
GIRAFFE GIRL: Let’s do something that won’t remind me that I’m special!
MAN: Sure! Wanna neck?
CAPTION: After her Last Kiss career fizzled, Giraffe Girl went on to become an adult film actress, starring in Deep Throat IV through VIII, until a tragic case of whiplash cut her career short!
by John | Jan 30, 2009 | Uncategorized
I have to admit, I have no idea what PMS Woman’s super powers really are. Any ideas? If you’ve got suggestions and want to share them with me and other readers, you can post them on GoComics here in the comments section.
GoComics will purge comments which are considered offensive. So don’t go nuts, but definitely have fun!
↓ TranscriptCAPTION: During every full moon Tallulah Tearwell becomes a living dynamo of emotional energy...capable of feats far beyond the ken of mortal man! Thus is born the legend of the unlikeliest superhero of all...PMS Woman!
MAN (offpanel) screaming: Wait! come back! The quicksand is sucking me under! I...ggglubb!
PMS WOMAN: That look of horror...can mean only one thing! He thinks I'm fat!
PMS WOMAN: Must go...shopping...before it's too late!
by John | Jan 23, 2009 | Uncategorized
Sob Sister is obviously one of those people who thrives on misery. But at least she gets a super power out of it. The downside is that her version of Kryptonite is being happy. Give her a big box of chocolates or a passionate kiss…and she feels weak. A Sex and the City marathon renders her utterly helpless. And that’s so sad…I suddenly feel like wearing a cape and thwarting crime!
By the way, if this comic looks familiar then it’s probably because I’m recycling a few comics as I get up to speed doing three comics a week on GoComics. But a lot of the old-timers are getting a face lift–new color and revised dialogue. Hopefully, they’ll be even better the second time around.
↓ TranscriptCAPTION: Bitten by a radioactive shoe salesman, Cyndi Snifflepod undergoes a strange transformation! Whenever she cries, Cyndi becomes Sob Sister…the world’s mightiest bargain hunter!
SCENE: Man and woman talking.
WOMAN: Quick! the orphans need new clothes! Make me...suffer!
MAN: Why bother? A fat failure like you...can’t help anyone!
CAPTION: Instantly, Cindy's tough persona dissolves into a tear-streaked super shopper feared in retail outlets across the GALAXY...SOB SISTER!
MAN: My poor darling! No bargain is worth this much pain!
MAN: You’re right! (Sniff) m-maybe you could....do the shopping for me!
SILENCE
MAN: Don’t let the door hit you on your way out, Blubber Butt!
©2009 Last Kiss Inc
by John | Nov 5, 2005 | Uncategorized
