by John | Oct 6, 2009 | Uncategorized
I’ve rewritten this gag several times over the years. I think I finally got it right, but I do miss one of the gags I cut. In the original version, the woman also rented the guy’s favorite movie: The Three Stooges Meet the 50-Foot Woman from Uranus!
The things I do for art…
↓ TranscriptWOMAN (to man): For your birthday, I filled the pool with beer...and invited all your pals over for poker and porn!
MAN: Yeah! You left the toilet seat down again!
by John | Aug 19, 2009 | Uncategorized
Writing a gag for art that has no visible people in it is always a challenge. For a long time now, I’ve been wanting to come up with a great gag for this piece of art. This is the best I’ve come up with (so far) that’s reasonably clean!
Sprechen Sie Deutsch? To read this comic in German click here.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Passenger jet dives steeply towards the water and then pulls up at the last second.
PILOT: HA!
PILOT (again): I saved us...at the last second!
PILOT (again): See? I told ya...
PILOT (again): I'm not hopelessly drunk!
aviation
by John | Jun 8, 2009 | Uncategorized
I was going to use this art for a joke about the fear of flying. But I kept getting distracted by the guy’s cigarette. Nobody smokes on planes these days. A guy would have to be a real fanatic to even try. Hmm…
By the way, there really is a bill in Congress right now that would give the Food and Drug Administration the power to regulate tobacco products. If it passes, things could get interesting!
↓ TranscriptCAPTION: Three reasons why tobacco shouldn’t be regulated by the FDA!
GUY SMOKING: If you ban cigarettes then only criminals will have cigarettes!
GUY SMOKING (again): Cigarettes don’t kill people! Cigarette smokers kill people!
GUY SMOKING (still): I still have one lung that works…sorta!
by John | May 17, 2009 | Uncategorized
Hopefully, before next month rolls around this guy will discover that you can read comics for free on the Internet! Otherwise, things could get messy…
Sprechen Sie Deutsch? To read this comic in German click here.
↓ TranscriptCAPTION: In the brutal, ancient past before web comics existed...
MAN (talking to mother of girl he's embracing): We're getting married! In fact...You're practically a Grandma!
MOTHER: Dream on! You can’t support a family! You spend all your money on comic books!
MAN: T-t-then I'll give up comics! I'll go cold Turkey!
CAPTION: "I took up smoking and drinking! Anything to keep
my mind off my cravings! But then...I had an idea!"
MAN: I can still buy comics...if I sell one of my kidneys!
MAN: But...what'll I do next month?
by John | Jan 28, 2009 | Uncategorized
This is one of the first Last Kiss gags I ever wrote…and it’s probably still my wife’s favorite gag. One thing that’s different, though, is that my colorist Allen Freeman has given the characters a new look. No longer all white. And certainly not blonde. It’s nice to have a little diversity–something that was extremely scarce in the original romance comics.
Sprechen Sie Deutsch? To read this comic in German click here.
↓ TranscriptPASSENGER: Stewardess, how about a gin and tonic?
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Sure, I could use a drink!
