by John | Nov 3, 2009 | Uncategorized
Of course, everyone must have their own version of this “If life’s a journey” theme. After extensive thought (for almost 10 seconds) here’s mine:
If life’s a journey, I want to travel first class with a plane full of comic cheerleaders. (Instead of cheering for sports teams, they’d cheer for comic creators.) Their hobbies would include giving massages, jumping jacks and chess.
What’s your version of “If life’s a journey?”
Post your ideas here in the comments section below this comic. Have fun, but keep your remarks relatively clean–PG13 or at least a soft R-rated–because…hey, you never know. Your mom might read this.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Woman at airport. She's just exited a plane.
WOMAN: If life’s a journey, I want a better seat…and free cocktails!
by John | Oct 29, 2009 | Uncategorized
Boo!
I just got back from seeing a truly rotten zombie movie. (Rotten in a good way, of course, as all zombie movies should be.)
Apparently the secret to enjoying a truly rotten zombie movie (in this case “The Children” from 1980) is to have a really stiff drink and to watch it with a bunch of other people who have really stiff drinks in a movie theater rented out for the evening.
It helps greatly if the zombies are cute radioactive children who literally hug people to death. (Sizzle. Argggh!)
Audience participation is another plus. Best audience commentary of the night: “Hugs! Not drugs!”
Runner up: “You just shot a dead dog.”
My thanks to my pal Mark Rahner and film critic Robert Horton for hosting a truly rotten evening. By the way, the name of their wild west zombie comic book is…”Rotten.” And, yes, it’s “rotten” in a good way too.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Exterior of a passenger jet in flight.
CAPTION: Just in time for Halloween! A movie so scary, you’ll pee in your seat! Honest...
CAPTION: “Cross My Legs...and hope to die!”
VOICE #1 FROM INSIDE PLANE: The restrooms are out of order? All of them?
VOICE #1 FROM INSIDE PLANE: B-b-but I‘m on a liquid diet!
by John | Oct 27, 2009 | Uncategorized
Ladies, as the official spokesman for all men, I can assure you that today’s comic is…oh, hell. It’s true. But don’t feel that you actually have to cook for us.
I mean, it’s not like we’re going to actually die of starvation. We can follow recipes (if there are pictures); toast bread without burning down the house (sometimes); and we can learn to whip eggs into submission. (Bad eggs!)
In short, we’re as smart as you. We’re just lazier and better at ordering takeout!
↓ TranscriptWOMAN FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Wild passion and cheap thrills are never enough! Sooner or later men Expect you to...cook for them!
by John | Oct 13, 2009 | Uncategorized
It’s always nice to have a choice…
by John | Oct 1, 2009 | Uncategorized
At Last Kiss Air, we guarantee that most of our pilots are sober, experienced and trustworthy. The rest are relatives. So we’re stuck with them.
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A handsome, male, airline pilot is standing in a doorway talking to a woman.
PILOT: Hi! I'm working my way through flight school...and if I can sell just a few more tickets I'll get to fly a real plane.
WOMAN (thinks): It's a one-way ticket to doom, but...he's so handsome!
