3 Comments

1. 

   fine jams and jellies since 1982 on October 6, 2020 at 10:11 pm

   Habits that will lead to trouble later:

   -Sleeping with your brother-in-law. Unless he’s good.
   -Sleeping with your father-in-law. Unless he’s rich.
   -Getting that ‘All Deliveries In The Rear’ tattoo you’ve always dreamed of.
   -Keeping in touch with that biker gang you used to date.
   -Honoring expired ‘Two Can Eat For The Price of One’ coupons like you did while you were dating.
   -Not stalking his ex-girlfriends. His ex-boyfriends are optional.

   The Right Habits:

   -Wearing edible panties in a wide assortment of fruit flavors.
   -Making sure he gets enough exercise. That way you can sleep with his friends while he’s at the gym.
   -Slowly driving him insane with the entire Over-Under-Toilet Paper argument.
   -Encouraging him to seek promotion by staring at his boss and saying things like ‘Men in Power are so hot’ or ‘I wish he was younger’.
   -Helping him keep cool at night by making sure all the blankets are dragged to your side of the bed. Extra points if they end up as a thick cocoon around you he can’t hope to untangle.
   -Wearing socks to bed. Because nothing says ‘let’s get to loving’ like smelly socks.

   Reply
   • 

     John on October 8, 2020 at 2:21 pm

     Wow, Jams. Most of these are brilliant. (And the rest are still pretty, damn funny.)

     Reply
2. 

   PKM on October 10, 2020 at 3:17 am

   Hey there Jams. Didn’t you hear? The over/under toilet paper debate has been put to rest. For those of you who think I’m joking, the 1891 patent application (No. 465,588) for the S. Wheeler toilet paper roll was actually found back in 2015 or two and it clearly showed the paper coming over the top.

   Here’s the link:

   https://patents.google.com/patent/US465588A/en

   and

   https://www.businessinsider.com/patent-shows-right-way-to-hang-toilet-paper-2015-3

   Reply