Art by Will Eisner from the cover of Jungle Comics #5, May 1940, published by Fiction House.
Transcript:
SCENE: Beautiful seductress in a slinky dress is standing in front of a skull cave as her subjects (armed ape men) fight with and menace Tzarzan—a Tarzan-like man in a leopard loincloth. In the background, a young woman is held captive by another ape man.
SEDUCTRESS: Prove your love, Tzarzan! Defeat my savage simian suitors! And I’ll go to second base with you!
TZARZAN: Lady, you’ve got a strange idea of foreplay!
1940 Art: Will Eisner Art Clean Up & Dialogue: John Lustig
JUNGLE 005
↓ Transcript
SCENE: Beautiful seductress in a slinky dress is standing in front of a skull cave as her subjects (armed ape men) fight with and menace Tzarzan---a Tarzan-like man in a leopard loincloth. In the background, a young woman is held captive by another ape man.
SEDUCTRESS: Prove your love, Tzarzan! Defeat my savage simian suitors! And I’ll go to second base with you!
TZARZAN: Lady, you’ve got a strange idea of foreplay!
1940 Art: Will Eisner Art Clean Up & Dialogue: John Lustig
JUNGLE 005
SEDUCTRESS: Prove your love, Tzarzan! Defeat my savage simian suitors! And I’ll go to second base with you!
TZARZAN: Lady, you’ve got a strange idea of foreplay!
1940 Art: Will Eisner Art Clean Up & Dialogue: John Lustig
JUNGLE 005
In this issue of Jungle Comics…When Sex Toy Parties Go Wrong!
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Kaanga: “Alright Evil Empress of the Ape Men! I’ll sleep with all your ape guards, starting with this one! And I’ll sleep with the blonde over there! And I’ll even sleep with you! But I will not sleep with Wambi, Jungle Boy!
“I have some standards!”
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“Is that a dagger in your loin cloth, or are you just glad to see me? No. Wait. It’s a dagger. And maybe a plum as well? A snail? It’s so small I can’t tell.”
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Ape Man behind the blonde: “Miss! This is the third time we’ve gone over this and it really isn’t that hard! You put your right hand in. Your take your right hand out. You put your right hand in…No! No! This hand. THIS ONE!
“Oh! Why won’t they just let me kill you?!”
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Evil Empress: “C’mon! Pull my finger already! Someone! Anyone!”
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Happy Late Birthday John! Wambi loves you!
Ahh, is that what that gorilla is doing with the blond woman… I thought he was attempting to teach her the simian version of the Chicken Dance.
Oh, by the way, no, Evil Empress, I will NOT pull your finger!
Is that the Hokey-Pokey the gorilla’s trying to teach the blond woman or the Macarena?
“‘And maybe a plum as well? A snail? It’s so small I can’t tell.’
“It could be a prune. Yes? Yes? No. Oh, hell, it’s a raisin! Luckily for you, though, it’s a Sultana raisin.”
Looks like the queen of the ape men is ready for fashion week 1940. A few months later it was olive drab all the time.
Reminds me of a scene in David Brin’s “Uplift War” where one of the human heroes immobilizes a much stronger chimpanzee by hoisting the chimp over his head.
Read Brin’s “Startide Rising” first. Imagine the Starship Enterprise crewed by intelligent dolphins. “Uplift War” – consider it a James Bond book if James Bond was an intelligent chimpanzee. “Sundiver” is the first book in the series but isn’t needed to read the other two. The next three after ‘Uplift’ are OK but I’ve never had the urge to re-read them.