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1. 

   fine jams and jellies since 1982 on November 9, 2017 at 8:30 pm

   “David, there’s something I must say…

   …but unfortunately I don’t speak Basque.”

   …but I’m too busy gagging off the fumes of your cheap cologne in order to speak.”

   …and it is that this is not my beautiful house. And that this is not my beautiful wife.”

   …I wasn’t exactly truthful when I said I didn’t have syphilis.”

   …I wasn’t exactly truthful when I said the gender reassignment surgery had gone well.”

   …The Van Burens are actually cannibals and your parents…Well. You know how you said at dinner that the meatloaf tasted just like your Mom’s recipe? And then there was an awkward silence?”

   …I wasn’t exactly being honest when I said size didn’t matter.”

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     John on November 10, 2017 at 11:51 am

     Well, at least the Van Burens have good taste.

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