My thanks to Mike Pascale for the Earth Day gag and art changes!
Art by Art Saaf in the story “My Kind of Love” in Best Romance #5, 1952.
Transcript:
Scene: Man embracing and coughing into the face of a woman wearing a protective medical mask.
MAN: It’s Earth Day! <Cough Cough> Let’s save the planet!
WOMAN: Sure! Right after I save myself!
1952 Art: Art Saaf Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Master of Masked Maidens: Mike Pascale
DJP.lk237
↓ Transcript
Scene: Man embracing and coughing into the face of a woman wearing a protective medical mask.
MAN: It’s Earth Day! <Cough Cough> Let's save the planet!
WOMAN: Sure! Right after I save myself!
1952 Art: Art Saaf Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Master of Masked Maidens: Mike Pascale
DJP.lk237
MAN: It’s Earth Day! <Cough Cough> Let's save the planet!
WOMAN: Sure! Right after I save myself!
1952 Art: Art Saaf Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Master of Masked Maidens: Mike Pascale
DJP.lk237
“…And I can’t say ‘Yes’! But I can’t say ‘No’ either!..
…Especially while this 25 pound earring is pulling my head backwards! Help!”
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…Wait! Did he ask me to marry him or check his prostate?! I mean, that’s why I put on these gloves…”
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…I could say ‘Maybe’! Or ‘Perhaps’! What does ‘Indubitably’ mean again? I think that’s how pompous people say ‘Yes’. So that won’t work…”
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“…Wait! Did he ask me to marry him again or let him watch while I slept with his Dad again?!? Either way, I draw the line at making the same mistake five times in a row!”
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“…I could say ‘What do you use to brush your teeth? Pig Intestines?’. He says he uses Tom of Maine. But it smells more like Clive of Ohio. Oh jeez. That’s a piece of spinach stuck in his teeth. And we haven’t had spinach since dinner last Tuesday! Ugh! I know where his mouth has been. No wonder that rash hasn’t cleared up!”
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“…I could say ‘Nyet’ and make a run for it when he goes to use Google Translate…No. That won’t work. He still hasn’t paid me for the sex.”
“Either way, I draw the line at making the same mistake five times in a row!”
If you’re making the right mistake with the right person, five is just a warm up!
Dude looks like he’s got the mumps.
Those gloves are suitable for a baby calves breech birthing. She’s into that latex kink. Talk about a safe, unenthusiastic hand job…
When he says things “tongue in cheek”, he really means it!
… or a squirrel hiding nuts
Holy…! Jams and Dave, I have to thank both of you. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time!
“I can’t say yes, but I can’t say no either!”
… Oh wait! Maybe it’ll work if I tell him we’ll talk about it after I get over this pesky case of death…
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… I wonder if it will take his mind off of marriage if I knee him in the groin?
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… I wonder if he still keep asking me after I show him the strange growth I have…
———————
… Maybe if I tell him the joke about the Amish mechanic, he’ll leave me alone… (The glove reminded me of that one!)
“…I wonder if it will take his mind off of marriage if I knee him in the groin?…”
So, what you’re really asking is the eternal question. The question that philosophers (and divorce lawyers) have pondered throughout the ages:
Which is worse–a bad marriage or a good swift knee to the groin?
At least a knee to the groin will be over quicker… and much less painful in the end…
🙂