Is clone love right for you? Take this simple test (twice) and find out:
–If you marry a clone of yourself and you end up getting a divorce, who gets custody of your ego?
–If you fall out of love with yourself, who’s fault is it?
–If you sue yourself, who wins–besides your lawyers?
If you answered any of these questions then you have too much free time and are probably gullible enough to fall for this scheme. So order your clone today! Just send me a DNA sample and a blank check! Then allow six to eight weeks for instant satisfaction!
↓ Transcript
SCENE: A man is on a theater stage facing an adoring crowd of applauding people. He has his arms upraised and is obviously enjoying the applause.
MAN (thinking): I’m so cool! I’d marry myself...if it weren’t for those darn cloning laws!
MAN (thinking): I’m so cool! I’d marry myself...if it weren’t for those darn cloning laws!
O give me a clone of my own flesh and bone,
With its Y chromosome changed to X.
And when it is grown, then my own little clone
Will be of the opposite sex.
Chorus:
Clone, clone of my own,
With its Y chromosome changed to X
And when I’m alone with my own little clone
We’ll both think of nothing but sex.
O give me a clone, hear my sorrowful moan,
Just a clone that is wholly my own.
And if it’s an X of the feminine sex,
Oh what fun we will have when we’re prone.
(Chorus)
My heart’s not of stone, as I’ve frequently shown
When alone with my dear little X
And after we’ve dined, I am sure we will find
Better incest than Oedipus Rex.
(Chorus)
Why should such sex vex, or disturb or perplex.
Or induce a disparaging tone?
After all, don’t you see, since we’re both of us me.
When we’re making love, I’m alone.
(Chorus)
And after I’m done, she will still have her fun,
For I’ll clone myself twice ere I die.
And this time without fail, they’ll be both of them male,
And they’ll each ravish her by-and-by.
Issac Azimov