Original Vintage Art & Text
Art by Dick Giordano in Romantic Story #72, June 1964. Charlton Comics.
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↓ Transcript
SCENE: A moonlight cruise. In the background a man in a captain's hat and a redheaded woman embrace and are about to kiss. In the foreground, a beautiful brunette woman looks on with longing.
WOMAN IN FOREGROUND: Oh, darling, did you forget we’re on our honeymoon…again!
Adapted from Dick Giordano’s 1964 art New Color: Allen Freeman
Sea Sick: John Lustig
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WOMAN IN FOREGROUND: Oh, darling, did you forget we’re on our honeymoon…again!
Adapted from Dick Giordano’s 1964 art New Color: Allen Freeman
Sea Sick: John Lustig
DG.RomanticStory72.0ModifiedHeart
Romantic-Story-72_0
“Oh Jim! It’s such a lovely night! Don’t say a word! Just kiss me!”
“That isn’t so hard to do…”
“Well apparently it is. Cos you just said something.”
“Ha! Not so. You said, “don’t say a word”. And I didn’t say a word.”
“You said several.”
“But none of them were “a word”.”
“Wait. Are you saying that because you didn’t say either “a” or “word”, you didn’t fail that rather simple set of instructions?”
“Are you saying that if I get into a relationship with you, you’re going to make silly demands like “don’t speak” or “do this but only in the exact manner I want you to do it”?”
“Are you saying you’ll be so anal retentive, that you’ll look for silly loopholes like taking parts of my statements in the most literal ways possible?”
“I’ve never met someone so utterly unlikeable before!”
“I’ve never met someone so incredibly frustrating and pedantic before!”
“We’ll be miserable if we stay together!”
“We’ll be able to make Tik Tok videos about how much we hate the opposite sex and use each other as examples!”
“I’ve never been both so aroused and so repulsed in all my life!”
“Kiss me you complete and utter a-hole!”
“Gladly my adorable little dumpster fire!”
And thus, a dysfunctional family was born.
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“Just kiss me!”
“That isn’t so hard.”
“Yeah. I can tell because we’re hugging so tight. But I think with enough tongue, we’ll get to at least dime roll status.”
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I thought this would be a…A Cruise To Paradise!
And it was. For Jim and her best friend.
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The Skank Boat!
Soon will be skankin’ another run…
The Skank Boat!
Promises VD for everyone…
You’ll move your thighs for adventure
Right after you take off his pants….
Welcome aboard
They’re Skaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanks!
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“No! Jim! How could you do this?”
Answers:
…Elaine’s so easy it would make Glenn Frey and the Eagles go, “We said Take It Easy, but damn…”
…With a car jack, some Vaseline, and the determination that made this country great.
…Because your idea of romance is soft moonlight, meeting each other’s parents, and holding hands while walking down the beach. While his idea of romance is having a threesome with you and your mother on the beach while your Dad and the rest of the crowd throws dollar bills at you all.
…Because Elaine smells like beef jerky. Teriyaki flavored beef jerky.
I mean…come on. You never really had a chance.
…Because you went looking for love on a cruise ship and…surprise!..you got taken advantage of by some rando who said what he needed to in order to get you naked.
When you go looking for love in all the wrong places, you usually just end up with a lot of pain in all those wrong places. Just sayin’.
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As an aside, I read the story. Really? That’s a fatherly kiss? And she fell for it?
What an idiot.
Ya’ll have a good weekend.
“… a few minutes later he was making love to my best friend…”? If that’s making love, no wonder so many women are angry with me!!
And YOU keep forgetting we’re Mormon and so it’s HER honeymoon too!!
He’s not actually in control of his actions…
https://imgur.com/bxkQGPh
The larger format and more intense colors work out very well.
Two thumbs up.
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