Another guide to matrimonial happiness courtesy of Tony Isabella!
Art by Dick Giordano from Just Married #53, July 1967
Transcript:
SCENE: As the priest pronounces them married, the groom kisses the bride–on the cheek.
PRIEST: I now
pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Reginald Bogglebottom. You may kiss the bride!
BRIDE (thinks): On the cheek?! his boy’s
got some learning to do! Tonight, after the reception…I’ll probably have to draw him a map!
1967 Art: DICK GIORDANO Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Writer & Matriomonial Map Maker: Tony Isabella
↓ Transcript
SCENE: As the priest pronounces them married, the groom kisses the bride--on the cheek.
PRIEST: I now
pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Reginald Bogglebottom. You may kiss the bride!
BRIDE (thinks): On the cheek?! his boy’s
got some learning to do! Tonight, after the reception...I’ll probably have to draw him a map!
1967 Art: DICK GIORDANO Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Writer & Matriomonial Map Maker: Tony Isabella
DJP.lk578
PRIEST: I now
pronounce you Mr. and Mrs. Reginald Bogglebottom. You may kiss the bride!
BRIDE (thinks): On the cheek?! his boy’s
got some learning to do! Tonight, after the reception...I’ll probably have to draw him a map!
1967 Art: DICK GIORDANO Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Writer & Matriomonial Map Maker: Tony Isabella
DJP.lk578
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It’s your special day. So shouldn’t you be sanitary? Come down to Surgical Gowns and Gloves Wholesale! We have a wide selection of…err…beautiful gowns…that…could probably be worn as wedding dresses…Sure! Why not?!?
Ladies, don’t spend a fortune when no one’s gonna believe you’re a virgin anyway! Don’t frown on the gown! Say yes to the dress! Head over to Surgical Gowns and Gloves Wholesale for that once in a lifetime, hygienic and disposable outfit!
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Top Ten Reasons the Bride is Unhappy…
#10-Despite what her maid of honor told her, you can’t hide the teardrop tattoo you got in prison after shanking that guard with lots and lots of concealer.
#9- She heard they made a Top Gun 2…and she can’t stop asking herself, “Why? Why?”
#8- Mark just leaned over and whispered in her ear…”Honey. Did you know you’ve had a big cotton ball stuck to the side of your head this whole time?”
#7- She just got married in a chapel that’s painted the color of urine.
#6- It just dawned on her that her married name will be Ima Cummings.
#5- The Reverend keeps saying, “Go ahead. Pull my finger.”
#4- She may have married Mark, but her heart will always belong with Rickets the Bow Legged Clown.
#3- She thought that was a tube of Chapstick in Mark’s pocket. But no. Sigh. He’s just happy to see her.
#2- The Cross Your Heart people said it lifts and separates. The Cross Your Heart people lied.
I’ll leave #1 up to someone else.
Contender for #1:
She just noticed she forgot to shave her moustache.
Is it just me or does her dress remind anyone of those window shades on the spring-loaded rollers?
Not the dress so much, but…those gloves. Those are outright weird.
#1-The groom just whispered in her ear that he couldn’t wait to take her dress off… so that he could try it on for size.
Unfortunately for her, he looks better in it.
I don’t know about the bride, but I’m happy. Fantastic work, Jams!
Re #8: I think that’s her soul escaping her body.
“I’ll probably have to draw him a map”
It’d be funny if you included “Cleveland”!
Cleveland would be hilarious. (Some cities just have great names for humor. For example, Walla Walla is frequently funny funny.)
While it is funny, I’ve always thought that Walla Walla gets a little overused. Now give me a Bat Cave (a lot of innuendo there!), Greasy Corner, Monkey’s Eyebrow, Scratch Ankle, Pee Pee (don’t ask), Two Egg, Zszyzx, Bacon Level and my personal favorite Booger Hole! As for Cleveland… I don’t know, there’s just something weird about that place… just can’t put my finger on it
PKM–so, you’re saying you’re having trouble finding Climax? Try going east.
It doesn’t have funny-named cities (per se), but your conversation reminded me of, “Entering Marion” by John Forster.
LOL!! Missy Tiger, That was GREAT!! I’d forgotten about Climax (kinda like my sex life lately)! I’ll have to check out “Entering Marion”. Thank you for the tip.
D@mmit, why doesn’t this site have Likes, like the other spot this comic can be found? There’s a lot of funny stuff here!