Original Vintage Art & Text
Art by Vince Colletta Studio from the story “Surprise Party” in First Kiss #40, Jan. 1965.
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↓ Transcript
MAN (to woman): Dearest, I believe with all my heart...that marriage is a sacred union...that lasts forever! So, stop listening to my ex-wives...and
sign the prenup!
1965 Art: Vince Colletta Studio Re-Creation: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Marriage Counselor to Imaginary People: John Lustig
DJP.lk209
sign the prenup!
1965 Art: Vince Colletta Studio Re-Creation: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Marriage Counselor to Imaginary People: John Lustig
DJP.lk209
Why she’s so stunned…
…No one has ever thrown her a surprise party to tell her they’ve given her AIDS before.
…Pat’s not wearing pants, and…well…you would think he’d need some kind of support to be able to stand upright considering that elephant trunk he’s got going on down there.
…She said she wasn’t going to pay a lot for this muffler and wow. She really isn’t.
…They broke into her house. They repainted the walls these warning cone orange color. Now they’re throwing confetti, getting drunk in the bathroom, and groping each other on top of her best throw pillows. What’s not to stun?
…Because Pat: there’s clowns to the left of her. Jokers to the right. And here she is. Stuck in the middle with you.
…Because she came here to Kill Bill. But now all she can do is Chat Pat.
…Because if Pat’s here…who is the man in the trunk of the car she just sank in the Mississippi?
…Because the male stripper who leapt out of the oversized cake is so much hotter…so very much hotter…than her boyfriend could ever hope to be. And that’s a terrible thing to realize on your birthday.
….thus explaining why they called Pat “the Tripod”.
Stuck in the middle with ewe.
https://imgur.com/uqZKal9
Oops. Forgot this one: Because it’s her party and she’ll go catatonic if she wants to. Catatonic if she wants to. Catatonic if she wants to.
You would too, if it happened to you.
Why do I say THEY’RE all crazy and I’M the normal one? Because shut up, that’s why!
In both scenarios she’s in the “What the Actual Fuck?!” stage.
Maybe letters of recommendation would help here…. Oh, wait….