Dear Mr. Last Kiss:
I’m a philosophy major (It’s not like there are any jobs out there anyway!) and it’s really hard because I have to think a lot. And here’s one of the things I thought about: If a tree falls in a forest and you make love in the bushes and no one’s around can you still pretend you’re a virgin?
I can’t decide. What do you think?
–Slightly Pregnant
Dear Slightly,
You can always pretend you’re a virgin–especially in forests. Some forests are better than others, however. Virgin forest are best. And they’re easy to spot. They’re the ones with unicorns.
–Mr. Last Kiss
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↓ Transcript
SCENE: Father and young adult daughter hug as the daughter's date waits in the background.
FATHER: Have fun, but remember! If you have sex you’ll regret it forever!
DAUGHTER: Sure! But only if you find out!
FATHER: Have fun, but remember! If you have sex you’ll regret it forever!
DAUGHTER: Sure! But only if you find out!
Dear Mr. Last Kiss,
If meteorites are rocks that turn into shooting stars, can I become a rock star by taking a meteor shower? And how does the shooting fit in?
Wanna Be Bono
Arrgh! The morning punsters are out in force. I’m groaning in the moaning mist of autumnal hisss.
Thanks for the laugh, John.
Dear Wanna,
If you survive a meteor shower, you’re can become any kind of star you like.