Original Vintage Art & Text
Inks by Vince Colletta from the cover of First Kiss #5, Sept. 1958. Published by Charlton.
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↓ Transcript
SCENE: Man and woman embracing, talking and probably about to kiss.
CAPTION: Never a social butterfly--or even a particularly likable caterpillar--Ron Redux doesn’t date! Or talk to women! Or even leave his house! But then, one day he’s struck by a magical bolt of comic book irony and becomes everyone’s favorite superhero...Major Success!
MAN: Nothing is impossible for me now! I can fly! turn time backwards! and bend men to my will!
WOMEN: What about women? Can you...bend me?
MAN: Honey, if you were anymore bendable, you’d be a puddle on the floor!
WOMAN: Then get a mop, baby! and kiss me quickly...because I‘m melting fast!
CAPTION: Remember, kids! Don’t try this at home...unless you’ve got flood insurance!
1958 Inks: Vince Colletta New Color: Allen Freeman
Have Mop, Will Travel: John Lustig
5_Cover_Blue
CAPTION: Never a social butterfly--or even a particularly likable caterpillar--Ron Redux doesn’t date! Or talk to women! Or even leave his house! But then, one day he’s struck by a magical bolt of comic book irony and becomes everyone’s favorite superhero...Major Success!
MAN: Nothing is impossible for me now! I can fly! turn time backwards! and bend men to my will!
WOMEN: What about women? Can you...bend me?
MAN: Honey, if you were anymore bendable, you’d be a puddle on the floor!
WOMAN: Then get a mop, baby! and kiss me quickly...because I‘m melting fast!
CAPTION: Remember, kids! Don’t try this at home...unless you’ve got flood insurance!
1958 Inks: Vince Colletta New Color: Allen Freeman
Have Mop, Will Travel: John Lustig
5_Cover_Blue
What might be going through their minds at this moment:
Him: “Mmmmm. She smells like bacon…”
Her: “Oh please let that be his finger. His little finger at that. Cos I’m gonna be so disappointed if it’s something else…”
Him: “Think of Ryan Gosling…Think of Hugh Jackman…Think of me and Hugh Jackman and Ryan Gosling making a sandwich…”
Her: “Of all the times I needed to fart, why now?”
Him: “I knew having low standards would pay off one day.”
Her: “Damn. And it’s a Taco Bell burrito kind of fart too…”
Him: “I knew having a penis would come in handy some day…”
Her: “Oh well. If things don’t work out, his sister’s hot.”