Stylish moms and toilets? Gee, what does that remind me of? Ah, the Lustig goldfish story!

When I was a kid we had the world’s only talking goldfish. Okay, it didn’t exactly talk—at least not in anything recognizable as English.

But it used to come to the surface of its water bowl frequently and make popping sounds. Now I don’t remember any of this. I don’t even remember the fish. But my mom swears it was a very noisy goldfish.

In fact, all that fish chatter started getting on Mom’s nerves. And–since neither I nor my brother seemed to care about little Goldie Yaks–Mom decided Goldie had to go.

(If you’re squeamish or feel strongly about a goldfish’s “human” rights, please stop reading.)

The easiest way to send Goldie packing? The toilet!

But after Mom put Goldie into the toilet, she had a Mom moment. She wanted to be kind and give Goldie a fighting chance at survival–or at least a hearty last meal. So she dumped some fish food in the toilet. Then she flushed.