by John | May 8, 2022 | Uncategorized
My thanks to Jim Guida who wrote the hilarious dialogue for that unfortunate young lady pining away in the background. (I then came up with the cover caption in the red box.)
Over the years, Jim has contributed several gags (all great) to Last Kiss. And fortunately there doesn’t seem to be a way to stop him from coming up with more!
Original Vintage Art & Text
Art by Al Avison from the cover of Hi-School Romance #10, August 1951. Harvey Comics. Curious to see more? Click the link to read the entire vintage comic book.
Transcript:
SCENE: A woman and a bare-chested man are kissing on a deserted island—deserted that is except for a sad, bandaged woman who watches in the background. Further back in the distance, we see a yacht wrecked in the water.
WOMAN IN BACKGROUND: Well, at least I still have my yacht.
CAPTION: After the shipwreck, Mary Ann had to choose! Would she commit…
“Murder or Ménage à Trois?”
1951 Art: Al Avison
2022 Wiseguys: Jim Guida & John Lustig
Hi-School Romance #10
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A woman and a bare-chested man are kissing on a deserted island---deserted that is except for a sad, bandaged woman who watches in the background. Further back in the distance, we see a yacht wrecked in the water.
WOMAN IN BACKGROUND: Well, at least I still have my yacht.
CAPTION: After the shipwreck, Mary Ann had to choose! Would she commit…
“Murder or Ménage à Trois?”
1951 Art: Al Avison
2022 Wiseguys: Jim Guida & John Lustig
Hi-School Romance #10
by John | Jul 15, 2021 | Uncategorized
Huge kudos to long-time Last Kiss fan (and life-long wit) Jim Guida for today’s gag. Jim has written the dialogue for several Last Kiss gags now. And I’m happy to say that I suspect there will be more.
Although I’ve got a lot of doctor art in my archive, I didn’t have anything that quite fit my needs for this gag. So, I ended up putting together characters from two different stories. Unfortunately, they’re by two artists with very different styles. So, the art’s not as seamless as I’d like. But the reaction from the woman is perfect for the joke. So, I went with it!
Original Vintage Art & Text
Art by Lee Elias from the story “My Beloved Doctor” in True Love #51, 1958.
Art by Alex Toth & Mike Peppe from the story “Murder Mansion” in ADVENTURES INTO DARKNESS #5, 1952.
Transcript:
SCENE: A male doctor is talking to his patient. In the background the patient (a woman) reacts with pop-eyed incredulity.
DOC: if you’ll
get your feet up in those stirrups, we’ll begin the exam.
WOMAN: Really? For an ear infection?
Doctor Art: Lee Elias Patient Art: Alex Toth & Mike Peppe
Guest Writer: Jim Guida Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
DJP.lk472&217
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A male doctor is talking to his patient. In the background the patient (a woman) reacts with pop-eyed incredulity.
DOC: if you'll
get your feet up in those stirrups, we'll begin the exam.
WOMAN: Really? For an ear infection?
Doctor Art: Lee Elias Patient Art: Alex Toth & Mike Peppe
Guest Writer: Jim Guida Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
DJP.lk472&217
by John | Jan 21, 2021 | Uncategorized
My thanks to long-time Last Kiss fan Jim Guida for writing this gag. Jim, though, doesn’t claim sole credit for the gag. As Jim puts it:
“…the ‘nose hair’ joke was sort of stolen from an episode of FRIENDS, when Jennifer Aniston is looking at her Dad, as he lies in a hospital bed, and says, ‘Well, I see the nose and ear trimmer I got you was a waste of money.’ ”
Oh, Jim! Professional humorists don’t steal jokes. They borrow and re-interpret them. So, congratulations. You’re now a professional!
Original, Vintage Published Art:
Art by Dick Giordano from Secrets of Young Brides #43, July 1964.
Transcript:
SCENE: A woman lying face up on the grass reaches up to a man who is looking (tenderly?) at her.
MAN: You know, darling, that nose hair trimmer wasn’t a joke gift.
WOMAN: Oh, my god! I was hoping if I closed my eyes, he would think I was dead and just go away.
1964 Art: Dick Giordano Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Guest Writer: Jim Guida
DJP.lk610
↓ TranscriptSCENE: A woman lying face up on the grass reaches up to a man who is looking (tenderly?) at her.
MAN: You know, darling, that nose hair trimmer wasn't a joke gift.
WOMAN: Oh, my god! I was hoping if I closed my eyes, he would think I was dead and just go away.
1964 Art: Dick Giordano Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Guest Writer: Jim Guida
DJP.lk610
by John | Mar 26, 2018 | Uncategorized
Jim Guida is the winner of last week’s contest to come up with funny dialogue for today’s comic. If you’re familiar with the James Bond series (particularly Goldfinger) you’ll probably see why I liked this joke so much. The thing that gave Jim the winning edge was that he even managed to incorporate Oddjob’s flying hat into the gag. Well done, Jimbo!
I’m also announcing a tie for runner up. Amazingly, both gags were almost identical and were submitted only minutes apart. Yes, sometimes great minds (or at least great jokesters) do think alike:
“Daddy! You’re HOME!” — submitted by cozy romance author Gayle Trent
&
“HONEY…I’M HOME.” —submitted by “Butch”
For everyone who submitted dialogue, thank you. I loved a lot of your gags and you’ll have more opportunities to win. I’ll definitely be having more contests! —John Lustig
Art by Dick Giordano & Vince Alascia from the story “The Big Meet” in FRANK MERRIWELL AT YALE #2, 1955.
Transcript:
SCENE: Man #1 tackling Man #2. There’s a hat flying above them.
MAN #1: Get down, Mr. Bond! Oddjob is back!
1955 Art: Dick Giordano & Vince Alascia Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Contest Winning Dialogue: Jim Guida
Art by Dick Giordano & Vince Alascia from the story “The Big Meet” in FRANK MERRIWELL AT YALE #2, 1955.
DJP.lk401 FM2.1.2.3
↓ TranscriptSCENE: Man #1 tackling Man #2. There's a hat flying above them.
MAN #1: Get down, Mr. Bond! Oddjob is back!
1955 Art: Dick Giordano & Vince Alascia Color: Diego Jourdan Pereira
Contest Winning Dialogue: Jim Guida
Art by Dick Giordano & Vince Alascia from the story "The Big Meet" in FRANK MERRIWELL AT YALE #2, 1955.
DJP.lk401 FM2.1.2.3
