After I posted yesterday’s gag about a strip club with parody lyrics (“There’s No Business Like Bare-ly Show Business”), I received an e-mail from my pal cartoonist Kevin Boze who came up with some great lyrics of his own. With his permission, here they are:
MEN’S CHORUS:
The bouncers, the colored lights, the panties, the tops
The audience that stares at you and sighs
WOMEN’S CHORUS:
The headaches, the heartaches, the backaches, the flops (NOTE: This was just too good a line to change)
The feeling when you make their winkies rise
MEN’S CHORUS:
Excitement when the tipping comes apace
WOMEN’S CHORUS:
The downer when your stripper shoes unlace
ALLS:
There’s no business like ho business
Like no business I know
MEN’S CHORUS:
Every man looks on that stage adoring
WOMEN’S CHORUS:
Sweating but you’re trying to stay cool
MEN’S CHORUS:
No where could you dance and keep on whoring
ALL:
While you’re ignoring that four-foot rule
They’re hip people, those strip people
They’re swinging on the pole
MEN’S CHORUS:
Yesterday you barely could fill out some B’s
WOMEN’S CHORUS:
That night you really wanted to tease
MEN’S CHORUS:
Next day you are showing off your double-D’s
ALL:
Let’s go on with the show
Let’s go on with the show
…. Musical Annie Get Your Gun ….MENS CHORUS ..The costumes the scenery the makeup the props ..The audience that lifts you when youre down ….WOMENS CHORUS ..The headaches the heartaches the backaches the flops ..The sheriff who escorts you out of town….MENS CHORUS ..The opening when your heart beats like a drum….WOMENS CHORUS ..The closing when the customers wont come ….ALLS ..Theres no business like show business ..Like no business I know ….MENS CHORUS ..Everything about it is appealing ….WOMENS CHORUS ..Everything the traffic will allow ….MENS CHORUS ..No where could you have that happy feeling ….ALLL ..When you arent stealing that extra bow ..Theres no people like show people ..They smile when they are low ….MENS CHORUS ..Yesterday they told you you would not go far ….WOMENS CHORUS ..That night you opened and there you are ….MENS CHORUS ..Next day on your dressing room theyve hung a star ….ALL ..Lets go on with the show ….MENS CHORUS ..The cowboys the wrestlers the tumblers the clowns ..The roustabouts that move the show at dawn….WOMENS CHORUS ..The music the spotlights the people the towns ..Your baggage with the labels pasted on ….MENS CHORUS ..The sawdust and the horses and the smell….WOMENS CHORUS ..The towel youve taken from the last hotel ….ALL ..Theres no business like show business ..If you tell me its so ..Traveling through the country is so thrilling ..Standing out in front on opening nights ..Smiling as you watch the benches filling ..And see your billing up there in lights ….Theres no people like show people ..They smile when they are low ..Even with a turkey that you know will fold ..You may be stranded out in the cold ..Still you wouldnt trade it for a sack o gold ..Lets go on with the show ..Lets go on with the show!
I am impressed with the lyrics both you and Kevin came up with. Perhaps you have found another niche for your many talents.